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Just back from church @ sunny Surrey. Nice Spring so far and these Biblical mega churches have merit.
So many people and refreshing from what I have been used to.
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I came across this link today on science connection.com and commented on this with a couple of comments on my blogs, but on second thought reason I could add more material...
Science Connection.com
Synopsis is combination of male and female responses for balance.
Cited and with my comments both serious and satirical
'Synopsis of views on age-related topics:
Cited
1. Many women of all ages are offended by the stated desire by men (generally those in their 40s and older) for much younger women, when this does not appear related to the desire to start a family,'
Serious
If it is simply searching for a 'barbie doll' in some kind of evolutionary model, for example, I can give the women's perspective some merit.
However, I am glad to see the desire to start a family is granted merit and a pass.
Biblical.
Seems to me up until 40-50 years ago in world history, including the West, although large age gaps were not perhaps common, not most common, they were not considered wrong or weird.
My take is feminism has caused the view that supposedly unequal relationships are not right.
Question.
What is equal?
A younger woman that is very intellectual with perhaps more dating experience than an older man is not necessarily going to be in an unequal relationship.
Much depends on the relative experience of the man.
Does he have children close to her age, or is he basically at a similar romantic age as the younger woman?
I remember from my psychology studies at Columbia Bible College that biological age is only one form of age; there is also romantic or relationship age and other ages.
Also, ironically, in fundamentalist, evangelical, conservative Christian circles where the parents have much say in the marriage of younger women, I reason if parents are not sure of a potential older man that wants to potentially date a younger daughter, they may simply avoid him in order to avoid the risk of something negative.
I can understand the natural and Biblical, protect mode.
A way of safety has been found and rightness is assumed. To have dialogue is to put this at risk.
This assumes, philosophically, all older men are basically the same, with similar experiences.
Or if not the man is somehow faulty.
These are false, especially in the Christian community today.
A man may be quite Godly and therefore is not very experienced, dating wise, with the often worldly church and still wants a family.
Both Biblical.
Satirical
If the older man has 'gamblin' debts, is 350 pounds, has killer BO and smokes various substances, the feminists may have a point...
Cited
'in which case the search for a woman of child-bearing age is considered legitimate (if sometimes over-optimistic when it involves men in their late 40s and over).'
Good.
Again, Biblical.
If there is mutual attraction I think there is over-focus on age difference.
If no mutual attraction the issue takes care of itself.
Nothing will and should happen.
Satirical
To show interest is to be a man.
Chasing is not manly.
I used to have to chase my German Shepherd-Husky, Rebel (Jerkhead) down the street after he broke out of Stalag 13, posted a parcel on the neigbour's lawn, nearly was hit by a car, and then proceeded to look for fights with male dogs and for 'bitches', but those chasing days are over for me.
I doubt he was looking for a family...
Cited
'Middle-aged women find that in person men their age are attracted to them, yet "on paper" they are rejected by men older than they are.'
There is baggage, experience and family considerations, even if there is experience.
Satirical
How about being rejected Biblically?
Quite the concept...
Cited
'And the women targeted by men ten or more years older tend to be unimpressed or even irked as well.'
Not a problem. No mutual attraction means no issue, a person should move on.
Satirical
I thought that was what Daddy with the shotgun was for...
I know...that is more of a Southern and rural thing.
Cited
'2. Nevertheless, many men do in fact seek women of their age and the average ages difference between males and females of couples meeting via Science Connection is very small - 2 or 3 years on average. And both men and women have reported happy unions involving an older woman with a younger man.'
Serious
More likely experienced men. Men without desire for family, or do not mind pre-made older family.
Satirical
'And both men and women have reported happy unions involving an older woman with a younger man.'
Then there is that 1980s expression 'boy toy'.
Something I have always had zero interest in...
Cited
'3. Although misrepresenting one's age demonstrably occurs, no one has been prepared to defend this in the Newsletter and all condemn it as a bad idea in practice and for moral (even legal) reasons.'
Honesty is good. One may not concentrate on sharing their age, but should not lie.
Satirical
If you are rich I suppose boasting about age is no big deal...
Cited
'4. Some members argue that being of similar age brings benefits of cultural and general compatibility and syncronicity of life stage (retiring about the same time, etc.). Other members de-emphasize age, citing the greater importance of individual differences and regarding as folly the setting of narrow age limits for a prospective mate.'
The second has more truth. The first assumes similar experience for all.
Satirical
I do not plan on retiring.
Menopause is not for everyone, i.e. not universally men.
That is a bit of wrench in any life stage relationship argument.
Don't you think?
A comment from a female perspective
Cited:
'One of the member's comments struck a chord with me. I'm sure you get a lot of comments about the guys who want (or say they want) a much younger woman. This is such a turn off! Makes them sound so arrogant. Guys, explain to me why any woman (any woman over 30 anyway) would want to go out with a guy 15 or 20 years older than she is. It may be alright at 20, but when she's 50+ she's looking at prolonged widowhood.'
Serious
Arrogance, not necessarily, as it is not necessarily to view this is as an issue of deserving or not, which I think is philosophically misplaced.
Who deserves another in relationships?
Rather, it is a matter of nature and experience and related needs and desires.
The fact the younger woman would eventually be a widow is in my view is the best point against age gap relationships.
Other premises used such as lack of relating and assumed greater experience for the older man often do not hold up under intellectual scrutiny.
The younger woman has to believe reasonably that the older man is among the best potential men for her in order to choose him. The older man needs to be youthful and committed to staying healthy. It needs to be the case that if such a relationship would not occur, it would be a lessor good and greater evil from a Christian perspective that if it did not take place.
Here is where the Christian, Biblical commitment to family is important as the future widow would need to have extended family in place as well as if possible, immediate family.
Also with medical, nutritional and scientific advancements it appears that persons can live youthful lives longer.
I am somewhat qualified to comment on homecare as I homecare for my disabled Mother.
I do not see homecare for an older spouse as huge impairment to the life of the younger woman.
My Mother is disabled and is an old 79 year old biologically, probably with a 90+ years old body.
She with the assistance of professional homecare is not a significant burden upon family.
If I needed to relocate she could be placed in local care or move down to Arizona with my brother and family.
This care is pension and government covered in Canada and I assume by pension, government and/or medical insurance in other Western jurisdictions.
A typical senior, especially over the next few decades with advancing medical knowledge and technology is likely not going to be a significant time and work burden on family.
Satirical
Does he have children close to her age, or is he basically at a similar romantic age as the younger woman?
I remember from my psychology studies at Columbia Bible College that biological age is only one form of age; there is also romantic or relationship age and other ages.
Also, ironically, in fundamentalist, evangelical, conservative Christian circles where the parents have much say in the marriage of younger women, I reason if parents are not sure of a potential older man that wants to potentially date a younger daughter, they may simply avoid him in order to avoid the risk of something negative.
I can understand the natural and Biblical, protect mode.
A way of safety has been found and rightness is assumed. To have dialogue is to put this at risk.
This assumes, philosophically, all older men are basically the same, with similar experiences.
Or if not the man is somehow faulty.
These are false, especially in the Christian community today.
A man may be quite Godly and therefore is not very experienced, dating wise, with the often worldly church and still wants a family.
Both Biblical.
Satirical
If the older man has 'gamblin' debts, is 350 pounds, has killer BO and smokes various substances, the feminists may have a point...
Cited
'in which case the search for a woman of child-bearing age is considered legitimate (if sometimes over-optimistic when it involves men in their late 40s and over).'
Good.
Again, Biblical.
If there is mutual attraction I think there is over-focus on age difference.
If no mutual attraction the issue takes care of itself.
Nothing will and should happen.
Satirical
To show interest is to be a man.
Chasing is not manly.
I used to have to chase my German Shepherd-Husky, Rebel (Jerkhead) down the street after he broke out of Stalag 13, posted a parcel on the neigbour's lawn, nearly was hit by a car, and then proceeded to look for fights with male dogs and for 'bitches', but those chasing days are over for me.
I doubt he was looking for a family...
Cited
'Middle-aged women find that in person men their age are attracted to them, yet "on paper" they are rejected by men older than they are.'
There is baggage, experience and family considerations, even if there is experience.
Satirical
How about being rejected Biblically?
Quite the concept...
Cited
'And the women targeted by men ten or more years older tend to be unimpressed or even irked as well.'
Not a problem. No mutual attraction means no issue, a person should move on.
Satirical
I thought that was what Daddy with the shotgun was for...
I know...that is more of a Southern and rural thing.
Cited
'2. Nevertheless, many men do in fact seek women of their age and the average ages difference between males and females of couples meeting via Science Connection is very small - 2 or 3 years on average. And both men and women have reported happy unions involving an older woman with a younger man.'
Serious
More likely experienced men. Men without desire for family, or do not mind pre-made older family.
Satirical
'And both men and women have reported happy unions involving an older woman with a younger man.'
Then there is that 1980s expression 'boy toy'.
Something I have always had zero interest in...
Cited
'3. Although misrepresenting one's age demonstrably occurs, no one has been prepared to defend this in the Newsletter and all condemn it as a bad idea in practice and for moral (even legal) reasons.'
Honesty is good. One may not concentrate on sharing their age, but should not lie.
Satirical
If you are rich I suppose boasting about age is no big deal...
Cited
'4. Some members argue that being of similar age brings benefits of cultural and general compatibility and syncronicity of life stage (retiring about the same time, etc.). Other members de-emphasize age, citing the greater importance of individual differences and regarding as folly the setting of narrow age limits for a prospective mate.'
The second has more truth. The first assumes similar experience for all.
Satirical
I do not plan on retiring.
Menopause is not for everyone, i.e. not universally men.
That is a bit of wrench in any life stage relationship argument.
Don't you think?
A comment from a female perspective
Cited:
'One of the member's comments struck a chord with me. I'm sure you get a lot of comments about the guys who want (or say they want) a much younger woman. This is such a turn off! Makes them sound so arrogant. Guys, explain to me why any woman (any woman over 30 anyway) would want to go out with a guy 15 or 20 years older than she is. It may be alright at 20, but when she's 50+ she's looking at prolonged widowhood.'
Serious
Arrogance, not necessarily, as it is not necessarily to view this is as an issue of deserving or not, which I think is philosophically misplaced.
Who deserves another in relationships?
Rather, it is a matter of nature and experience and related needs and desires.
The fact the younger woman would eventually be a widow is in my view is the best point against age gap relationships.
Other premises used such as lack of relating and assumed greater experience for the older man often do not hold up under intellectual scrutiny.
The younger woman has to believe reasonably that the older man is among the best potential men for her in order to choose him. The older man needs to be youthful and committed to staying healthy. It needs to be the case that if such a relationship would not occur, it would be a lessor good and greater evil from a Christian perspective that if it did not take place.
Here is where the Christian, Biblical commitment to family is important as the future widow would need to have extended family in place as well as if possible, immediate family.
Also with medical, nutritional and scientific advancements it appears that persons can live youthful lives longer.
I am somewhat qualified to comment on homecare as I homecare for my disabled Mother.
I do not see homecare for an older spouse as huge impairment to the life of the younger woman.
My Mother is disabled and is an old 79 year old biologically, probably with a 90+ years old body.
She with the assistance of professional homecare is not a significant burden upon family.
If I needed to relocate she could be placed in local care or move down to Arizona with my brother and family.
This care is pension and government covered in Canada and I assume by pension, government and/or medical insurance in other Western jurisdictions.
A typical senior, especially over the next few decades with advancing medical knowledge and technology is likely not going to be a significant time and work burden on family.
Satirical
 |
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Interestingly here the seniors prefer 'grass'. Not sure if this is in BC, Washington or Colorado. Does not look like Monaco, definitely.
