Trillion Dollar Question: Did the man use natural peanut butter?

The Mirror

The Mirror: November 2

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Man whose genitals were bitten off by bulldog ‘had smeared himself with peanut butter’ 

The man's genitals could not be reattached, after the mauling by the dog named Biggie Smalls

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A 22-year-old man left in a coma after his genitals were "ripped off and eaten" by a bulldog had apparently smeared his crotch in peanut butter.  

The man, who has not been named, was found lying unconscious inside a flat by emergency crews in Haddington, East Lothian, Scotland. Neighbours reported hearing the Old English bulldog, named Biggie Smalls after the late rapper, barking at around 4am and again at 8am October 7. 

Police were called at about 2.30pm, where they found a blood-spattered scene.

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Biggie Smalls, who was covered in blood and restrained, was taken to kennels and later put to sleep. 

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A friend of the owner described Biggie as an “absolute angel”.

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“The dog is an absolute angel. I was happy to be around him. He gets a bit freaked out by noise but he loves having his belly rubbed.” Old English Bulldogs are known for the power in their jaws and are descended from breeds used for bull-baiting.
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Seriously: This is tragic.

Satirically: As part of my sleep apnea slim down progression, I have switched to natural peanut butter.

So my trillion dollar question is 'Did the man use natural peanut butter?'

Seriously: I am not certain of the story details, but an aware mind is less likely to do something foolish like having genitals covered by a food paste. Especially, near animals.

Modern Proverbial...

I suppose blood would have been more acceptable?

More evidence of my finite nature.

My SUV is overall an excellent vehicle, and my mechanic agrees. It has been very steady and yet remains powerful while driving through British Columbia mountain ranges. But, its previous American owner, drove it more like an off-road SUV and some repairs were avoided. I am now paying for those repairs, but this is still cheaper than new vehicle payments.

I just spend almost $2, 000 (CDN) on replacing the battery, alternator and radiator, in other words, my electrical system is now 'newish'. I work while driving on the road a fair amount, and was tired by the long commute, so I stopped for a quick meal and being the nice son I am, I bought an ice cream for the Boss.

Rather than wisely place the risk of falling ice cream on the floor, secured somehow, the floor is soiled by wet and dirty footwear anyway, I decided to hold onto the ice cream for my very short drive home. Problem is, another vehicle left me with little room to maneuver and the Boss's ice cream fell over the supposedly stable tray provided to me by the restaurant and the ice cream then fell onto the left side of the center (US vehicle) console. Most of  the contents ended up on the floor and the rest was safely cleaned up, but not my smartest move!

I doubt there is permanent damage.

I pulled into our temporary building parking, in order to facilitate a quicker clean-up, and I slowed down for a rather private older lady to pass by on foot. She seemed rather unimpressed by my quickness and/or where I parked and she went inside our building not holding the main door open for me. I am not certain what she initially stated, but I kindly stated (paraphrased) that I needed to park there because ice cream was on my center console and I need a quick clean-up.

'Fine'. She stated.

I dislike it when people become so set in their ways that they always assume that normal, slow activity is the only activity appropriate. I had ice cream in my vehicle and on my pants. I was attempting to avoid electrical damage!

There is a theological and philosophical need for self-awareness and for awareness of the environment and others. Even with age!

What do I need blood to impress upon you the need for speed?
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Hopefully, Mr. Garbage Guts will avoid the theology and philosophy that all a certain person needs to do in regard to a potential deeper relationship with me, is to repent. Assuming this person's repeated contact of me was special, despite my continual, consistent denials of any interest by either directly involved, for a deeper relationship; this very hungry and smart man, never grasped that this person was using me as one of many 'older' pastoral advisers!

He was shocked.

I was amazed he never clued in!

And we often accuse Chucky of this!