Travel documentaries sometimes focus on non-tourist sites. Well, here is that type of tourism entry.
Childhood
Anaheim, 1975
As a small child, I foolishly tried the Mad Hatters Tea Cup and tossed my tea and cookies. A child has to know his limitations (re; Magnum Force, 1973).
Scotland, 1976
Big brother and I find unique ways of touring closed castles and torture chambers for 'free'.
I learned that many people were tortured and killed in Europe during the Middle Ages, by the Church-State, for following conscience. Often both sides claiming Jesus Christ and God. Surely, this was not biblical, I thought.
British Columbia wilderness, the late 1970's
An Uncle demonstrates a unique way of putting out the campfire for the night. I, as small child, do not follow...
Atlanta, 1982
I tag along with the family for an Amway convention, but we are told by organizers that downtown Atlanta is too dangerous to walk in, unless in a group. I am grounded to the hotel room, although we did see the Coca-Cola building, some nice suburbs and eventually headed south for Orlando's tourist sites. Atlanta was my first experience with a population of many African-Americans, and they were friendly.
Adulthood
Nevada, 1992
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Chucky is threatened with police action by the owner of a steakhouse restaurant, as Chucky used the toilet in a prolonged manner without being a customer.
Chuckles clearly disobeyed the sign. I did too, but was quicker...
I explained to the owner, while we walked away, that it was okay, because we were from Canada. As far as I know, 'Deputy Dawg' was never called. The locals generally seemed tired of tourists.
Birmingham, 1995
While (over) touring and walking in England, during lovely summer weather, my one large toenail became very infected and required emergency surgery in downtown Birmingham. The chiropodist criticized previous work done in Canada. I had walked by William Shakespeare's house with an infected toe. This will not be my only surgery in England, see Manchester, December 24, 2000.
Northern England, 1995
A bald punk rocker (?) with his girlfriend and 'walking stick', enters the bus and declares 'I am not ****** standin' all the way to Glasgow! A granny states (paraphrased): This is why our country is in such trouble. We started travelling by the fine British rail system.
Belfast, 1995
A kind Protestant Reverend, by the name of Noel, I believe, very kindly offered to give us a tour of Belfast. He stated he had only been bombed once. I found the 'Irish Out', graffiti, fascinating and disturbing. I much preferred, Dublin.
Greater Edinburgh, 1997
My cousin does his Elvis impression. I suggest he needs a microphone and my cousin breaks the lamp in half to suffice. That was not what I had in mind, I was thinking 'felt pen' or like. This was very funny though, I admit. Life is often not black and white.
England, 2000-2001
My good friend, Si, kindly takes me on chauffeured Arsenal football tours, sitting in the stadium visitor's seating. This being a concept foreign to North American sports. Si, a nice guy, in the choir boy category (literally rivaling Chucky) tells me it is no big deal as he had only been punched in the head twice, over the years. I miss Si and the tours. God-willing, more to come.
Manchester, December 24, 2000
Chucky and I are attacked by three, downtown, that turned out to be a mob of I estimate, thirty drunk punks. I win a fight versus three, but am wine bottled (?) by a British bloke I had drilled with a roundhouse kick and then later cowardly threw the bottle from distance. This was by the McDonald's.
Thus began my years of research and working out with weapons, to this very day.
Manchester, 2001
My neighbour is from what I was told, burgled, tied to a chair and beaten to death, with the front door left open for public consumption. The next day when I visited a local grocer, he stated that he thought I might have been the victim and he was glad to see me. I told him I had legal weapons on my premises, after being burgled twice, faced attempts at intimidation and was bottled.
And of course, as a bonus, I changed Universities from Manchester to Wales. If I ever move back to the United Kingdom, it needs to be a more 'green' area.
Manchester, 2001
I did many long walks after church on Sunday, including one three hour prayer walk. My friend Jeremy told me I was crazy. The walks were (and still are locally) a blessing as I viewed many interesting Manchester sites. Walking in the United Kingdom and Europe is particularly, historically, fascinating for me. I am not a particularly good runner, but I can walk for miles.
Manhattan, 2002
Documentary Man and I come across a proselytizing Hare Krishna, that is soon furious with both of us, especially Documentary Man, by the time to debate is finished. This was by the McDonald's.
Documentary Man, MPhil, Cambridge, a direct decedent of Oliver Cromwell, is asked at a West Manhattan, Burger King, if he speaks English.
Gloucestershire, 2004
After visiting the University of Wales, Trinity Saint David, Lampeter for academic work, I was kindly asked to be best man, master of ceremonies and bouncer at a good friend's wedding. I ended up refereeing a battle between the wedding party and the Vicar and contributed a portion of content to the written wedding ceremony. This couple is a bit like Meathead and Gloria from All in the Family. It was excellent to be involved in their ceremony at a thousand year old church.
Orlando-Fort Myers, 2007
Back and forth on the beautiful and efficient drive from my laser surgeries for vitreous floaters in Fort Myers, I learn that some Floridians in trucks pass on the grass side. Separately, I also learn that unlike in Canada, I would not pull over to the side of the road for any non-essential reason, because frankly, there are just too many scary, noisy, creatures. Believe it or not, I remembered what Orlando and Florida smelled like from my 1982 trip.
Irvin, 2009
My second set of laser surgeries for vitreous floaters in near my hotel and in the same complex as the world headquarters of Taco Bell. I am still not certain if I have ever willingly walked into a Taco Bell. I think I may have tried Taco Bell at my family's house in Arizona. Well, I was looking at the Taco Bell building, I kept wondering if I has ever actually tried Taco Bell. Believe it or not, I remembered what Southern California smelled like from my 1975 trip.
Amsterdam Airport Schiphol, 2009
While I am walking the airport looking for food, a dark gentleman walking the other way is tackled by security officers. I quickly head elsewhere as there are men that look the teenagers in military uniforms heading his way with automatic weapons.
Kelowna, 2016
On the way to my friend's bizarre attempt at a Christian singles event, we nearly run out of gas (petrol) and then barely avoiding that problem, are then pulled over by the RCMP. Thank you to my friend's family for hosting me near Lake Okanagan in the lovely 100 degree Fahrenheit weather.
