Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Stolen questionnaires


BC farm (photo from Ron Niebrugge)

UPDATE: Questionnaires found, March 18, 2007
Now the church has two sets.;)

Greetings,

I was out in rural east Maple Ridge by car with a friend Sunday, dropping off some problem of evil questionnaires at a church, before heading to our own church in Vancouver. According to the minister, the questionnaires that were placed by me outside the front door of his church prior to the service Sunday have been stolen. The questionnaires were in a yellow package and in a transparent plastic bag. It was raining heavily outside, but they were put in a dry area. Previously before dropping the package off, my friend drove into the parking lot of a neighbouring church thinking it was the Church that I needed to go to. This church featured a German Shepherd cross watch dog who was barking fiercely at us. Here are some possible explanations for the missing questionnaires. Please feel free to add some other ideas in the comments. I have to return to the church next Sunday to drop off a new set of questionnaires.

1. The German Shepherd cross waited until we left and then violently attacked and ate the questionnaires in a fit of rage.

2. A passerby saw the yellow package and removed it from the plastic bag and then used the plastic bag as rain headgear.

3. Some sweet soul is photocopying the questionnaires for me and is taking them to as many Christian churches as possible, as my mailing address is on each questionnaire.

4. A person noticed the package and upon opening it thought that it was a great idea for a PhD. The person is now going to try and write a 60,000 page PhD dissertation to match the questionnaire. My method was to write the theory first and then the questionnaire, but to each his own I guess. I do not want to be judgmental here!

5. The questionnaires were taken in order to place my email address, which is also on the document, on a list which can be sold to foreign companies in order that I can receive more email job offers to work in China.

6. A person living in the country is unwilling to go to an ophthalmologist all the way in "downtown" Maple Ridge to have the eyes checked of family members. This person is instead using the AS A NC D DS as an eye chart by holding the questionnaires at different distances to check the eye sight of family members.

7. A person is using the questionnaires for the rough drafts of an up and coming problem of evil comic strip series.

8. A person or persons used the questionnaires to start a fire to cook some local road kill.

9. The questionnaires were taken to a local paper recycling depot and gleefully accepted by the honest and sharp employee.

10. A person or persons opened the package and seeing that I attend the University of Wales, mailed them back to the United Kingdom.

11. Toilet paper?

12. A person or persons thought the problem of evil could be demonstrated by stealing the questionnaires.

Russ;)


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:KoratCatMessingWithGermanShepherd.jpg

8 comments:

  1. Are you attending a Christian Church and interested in filling out a problem of evil questionnaire when it is ready? Please leave a comment or contact rnmwales@shaw.ca

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  2. Surely some kind hearted member must have picked up the envelope thinking he/she would take it inside to keep it out of the rain, then just put it "somewhere"??? I have done that myself - put something somewhere so that I will be sure to remember where it is, and it is "never to be seen again". One hundred years from now that envelope will be a piece of history!

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  3. Thanks.

    A very good point and I hope you are correct!

    Russ

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  4. Could they have been mistaken for a recycling pile? Maybe someone who didn't know what they were thought so. Did you check with the caretakers of the church? I laughed at your possible theories but there really might be a sensible explanation.

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  5. Thanks for the good suggestion. I am going by what the Reverend stated in regard to the theft. Other than that I plead ignorance.

    Russ;)

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  6. Were there an UFO sightings reported about this time? Maybe aliens have no idea about what "evil" is and are wanting to learn human culture?

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  7. Thanks Kermit.

    A very good point, and one that crossed my mind as well. If aliens and UFOs did interfere with my questionnaires and PhD work this could be a crucial historical event of mammoth proportions. I wonder if the aliens would be willing to cover the $5 in cost of the stolen questionnaires?

    Russ;)

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  8. I just received this message via email:

    Dear Friend,

    Leicester Credit Bank in UK is about to frozen an account with a total deposit of Seven Million five hundred thousand United States Dollars (US$7,500,000.00) belonging to Mr. Wilcox Tripp,a foreigner and a business man who lived in UK, but unfortunately, he was among those that lost their lives in a Spain train bombing in March 2004. He was in Spain for a holiday with his wife and a son, when the incident occurred, and they all lost their lives.Please copy and paste this Internet link for more information on the incident

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4340881.stm

    My name is Mrs. Susan Adams I work with Leicester Credit bank and I reside here in uk,after 2years of idleness and nun servicing. To this end,I decide to search for a foreigner who could be presented to the bank as the next of kin to the deceased, to
    enable us process for the release of this fund from the bank, as an inheritance fund, before its been confiscated. This is actually why I contacted you for the transaction.I have searched for his relations to no avail. Currently, the bank wants to freeze the account and seize the funds. This informed the search of a trustworthy partner to apply as the next of kin to the deceased to claim the deposited fund, before it is lost to the bank. Indicate your interest urgently via email to:
    sussy_adamsonline01@yahoo.co.uk

    Best regards,
    Mrs. Susan Adams.

    ReplyDelete