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| The Mirror |
The Mirror: November 2
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Man whose genitals were bitten off by bulldog ‘had smeared himself with peanut butter’
The man's genitals could not be reattached, after the mauling by the dog named Biggie Smalls
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A 22-year-old man left in a coma after his genitals were "ripped off and eaten" by a bulldog had apparently smeared his crotch in peanut butter.
The man, who has not been named, was found lying unconscious inside a flat by emergency crews in Haddington, East Lothian, Scotland. Neighbours reported hearing the Old English bulldog, named Biggie Smalls after the late rapper, barking at around 4am and again at 8am October 7.
Police were called at about 2.30pm, where they found a blood-spattered scene.
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Biggie Smalls, who was covered in blood and restrained, was taken to kennels and later put to sleep.
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A friend of the owner described Biggie as an “absolute angel”.
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“The dog is an absolute angel. I was happy to be around him. He gets a bit freaked out by noise but he loves having his belly rubbed.” Old English Bulldogs are known for the power in their jaws and are descended from breeds used for bull-baiting.
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Seriously: This is tragic.
Satirically: As part of my sleep apnea slim down progression, I have switched to natural peanut butter.
So my trillion dollar question is 'Did the man use natural peanut butter?'
Seriously: I am not certain of the story details, but an aware mind is less likely to do something foolish like having genitals covered by a food paste. Especially, near animals.
Modern Proverbial...
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