Friday, June 27, 2008
Friday fun: Playing the age game
Alouette Lake, BC (photo from trekearth.com)
Update September 2015
My social life is significantly improved post-student era. I am talking with more people. The feedback is positive even in this very secular region of the world.
This has really been of great assist at work, where my public relations skills as well as computing skills has my manager looking to promote me.
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Here is some Friday fun, the satirical and the mostly serious:
Being a theologically, philosophically, Biblically orientated Christian man in BC can be tricky business in the early 21st century. In my late 30s, I have been a student for 17 years, and have worked part-time in fields such as telemarketing, census, and security. Having mainly avoided the secular approach to life by God’s grace, my path has been quite different than most Christian women my age. In my studied opinion many Christians basically believe but live as non-believers do in many ways. I reason this is largely because by God’s will, for several reasons, many 21st century Christians do not value the serious study of Scripture and related fields. The Holy Spirit tends to mould and change persons through teaching and much of this takes place through study.
Now, I must apologize to the women reading this article as I realize many of my female blog readers are serious students of Scripture and related study.
I am hardly God’s gift to women, but I have had several women interested in me over the years, but just not suitable ones. Some of these women I have met on-line, but although I think one can have on-line friendship, I do not believe in a realistic romantic on-line relationship with a woman. I would have to meet a woman in person to have an idea if a romantic relationship was possible.
Are you interested in meeting me in person?
Directions:
Okay, walk, jog, fly, drive, or take a boat or train to Maple Ridge, BC, Canada, which is the most northeastern part of the Lower Mainland. In the morning, head down the Lougheed Highway heading east to Toronto through the centre of town and where the Lougheed meets the By-Pass and look southwest for a glow coming from one of the residences. The glow should be my good friend Bobby Buff putting on his Crisco for the day to give him that bodybuilder ‘shine’. From his place, please head west down the hill and at the bottom of the hill I live in a condo. During the afternoon and evening you can look for me doing the David Bruce Banner (The Incredible Hulk) walk on the near-by streets. I may be praying or pondering on some intellectual issue. Five free blog comments to any young Christian woman willing to approach me.
As I have different life experience than most Christian women my age and have never found a relatable woman in a romantic context, I am disturbed at how many persons seem to think that by hypothetically ‘throwing’ someone my age at me will solve my problem, and that I should ‘grab’ her and date her. Some people just do not get it. Contrary to much societal propaganda, mutual attraction is not primarily about age and chronological maturity although I admit they are important factors, but it is mainly about shared worldview and experience. A woman can be 20 or 120, and we will relate if we have similar worldview and experience, although I am not attracted to much older women physically. If a woman is younger than me and shares my Christian worldview and is interested in Biblical studies, theology, and philosophy, especially from a conservative Reformed view, we may relate and there may be mutual attraction. Some people whine to me that even though I would like to have children one day, and lack sexual experience I should not expect to date or marry someone younger. Well, if a woman of any age is not attracted to me, fine, most women will not be attracted to any one particular man, but that does not mean I should go after someone close to my own age because we will relate better, which is not necessarily true, or because that is the pragmatic thing to do. Pragmatism should be part of romantic relationships, but there still has to be basic spiritual, intellectual, and physical mutual attraction.
I study at times some relationship teaching, both Christian and secular. One interesting secular teacher, that I am not endorsing necessarily, states concerning the idea of women dating older men:
http://doubleyourdating.com/m/dating/Secrets_Of_Dating_Younger_Women.asp
CATEGORIES AND CATEGORIES
I've found that women usually fit into one of
the following three categories when it comes to
how they view this topic:
1) "It's perfectly normal" (Maybe 20%)
2) "It's taboo, and very intriguing" (Maybe 20%)
3) "It's GROSS!" (Maybe 60%)
As I do not share the sexual and romantic experience of most women my age, and would like my own children one day, and am not interested in becoming a stepfather, unless the children are little, I have emailed on Christian dating sites some younger women over the years. Some women are offended, but if I am going to find a relatable Christian young woman I need to try even if as little as 20% or slightly more of Christian women would be open-minded concerning the age issue.
Frankly, I would much rather be alone than simply date and marry someone within secular societal standards, as my worldview and experience is outside of those standards.
I reason that some in the Christian Church would be more offended if I dated and eventually married a significantly younger woman with a similar level of romantic experience (probably more than I would have), hoping to potentially have children one day, than they would be with two homosexuals marrying!
Please ponder on that statement.
Interesting, from my research I have found that many Asian and African women are not near as concerned romantically with age difference, and the same can be stated for Eastern Europeans, although less so. The age issue is at least somewhat a Western construct.
Is there such as thing as too much of an age differece? It most cases yes, but this would be dealt with by the fact that there would not be mutual attraction and therefore an unwritten, unofficial socially constructed rule concerning age difference in romantic relationships is not needed.
Happy Friday!
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You need to replace that Bruce Banner video clip with a home-made clip of yourself walking down a suburban Maple Ridge street, preferably a certain street where one can see the aforementioned Crisco-assisted glow coming out the window.
ReplyDeleteSame piano music though.
This culture we live in is almost forcing us guys to lie about our ages to avoid discrimination!
ReplyDeleteHow a 41-year-old dork (me) white-lies about his age:
ReplyDeleteI'm 29! (mumbling: in hexadecimal...)
I will ask Bobby to pose in the video.
ReplyDeleteI will not lie, but I also will not capitulate.
Man, you are older than I by a bit.
Hexadecimal
The base 16 notational system for representing real numbers. The digits used to represent numbers using hexadecimal notation are 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, A, B, C, D, E, and F. The following table gives the hexadecimal equivalents for decimal numbers from 1 to 30.
1 1 11 B 21 15
2 2 12 C 22 16
3 3 13 D 23 17
4 4 14 E 24 18
5 5 15 F 25 19
6 6 16 10 26 1A
7 7 17 11 27 1B
8 8 18 12 28 1C
9 9 19 13 29 1D
10 A 20 14 30 1E
Hexadecimal is used in HTML colour codes. I learned to use some of these codes when I took my basic blog templates and created original colour schemes. I do not want my blogs to look exactly like other blogs, and so although I use basic templates the colours and some other options are original in design.
ReplyDeleteAdditional:
ReplyDeleteI have thought for quite a few years that an issue for me with romantic relationships is a lack of a peer group.
I have male friends ranging from the early 20s to much older that I could consider peers, but with women this is much more difficult to find. In fact, in Western society there is likely rarely a equivalent social peer group of Christian women that are seriously interested in Biblical studies and related fields and relate to men who are like-minded. Rather at times there are probably individual Christian women throughout the world that would relate, but this is not a social peer group in most cases. This would make sense in regard to why I have not been able to go to church or University and simply find someone suitable as the peer group does not exist. Most women (not all) are much more socially than philosophically orientated and would expect to find a man within their peer group.
To be clear, I am not necessarily looking for a woman that is an academic.
I briefly worked in Telemarketing myself, something I never guessed I would have ever done, since I believe that all telemarketers are evil. But I was unemployed and desperate, having lost 20 lbs. from a bread-and-water starvation diet, so I became an evil, despicable telemarketer...kind of like a tax collector in New Testament times. Of course, the pay was terrible, so I had to get a 2nd job as well, working in a fireworks warehouse. For a while, I was working 7 AM until 11 PM, driving from one job straight to the other. By Friday night I was ready to pass out.
ReplyDeleteNice topic shuffle, but all is cool.
ReplyDeleteI have no moral problems with the fact I worked as a telemarketer. I did the hard sale rather than the soft sale, and therefore I did not have to use questionable tactics to make a sale, and most of my sales were not cancelled when it came to verification. However, when more and more negative news came out in the media concerning telemarketing it became tougher to make a hard sale, and the expert telemarketers with the soft sale had a better chance. Basically they would just mail the form out unless the person gave a definite no, and would call again at a later time to try and get the person to place a donation. In contrast, I was always instructed to make sure the person was willing to donate immediately, and then sent the form.
I am wondering if B & C List are still in business. Hmm, I see they have moved from Vancouver to Richmond.
Thanks, Jeff.
How about a very attractive young woman who speaks 20 languages and who is a genius when it comes to theology?
ReplyDeleteI've thought about her before as a possible match for you. Her late husband was also a theological genius, and spoke many languages.
Her name is Pastor Melissa Scott.
Here's a couple videos of her:
On the Gospel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjfur9elFYs
On Guilt and Sin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DnnFzX1TjY&feature=related
You can read a little about her here, as well as see a few images of her (and her late husband):
http://truthaboutpastormelissascott.com/index.html
Nice topic shuffle, but all is cool.
ReplyDeleteHey, you mentioned that at the beginning, so I replied to it. And in the past, you've said that comments don't have to relate directly to the posted article.
BTW, when I was a telemarketer, I won a variety of trinkets because of the sales I made: several Mardi Gras necklaces, a cap, etc. I was actually a pretty good salesman.
I also noticed that the girls with nice voices seemed to have an easier time of making sales than the guys did.
Oh, and regarding Pastor Melissa Scott, if you'll notice, her late husband was obviously much older than she is, so she is apparently attracted to older men who are intelligent and who are very much into theology. And he was one ugly dude, so she apparently is not fixated on looks. You look better than her late husband did, by far. I'm telling you, you need to check her out!
Ha ha, Gene Scott's former wife. I am probably not wealthy enough for Ms. Scott. I did a hilarious article on him awhile back, please check it out below, and thanks.
ReplyDeleteI am not necessarily looking for a professional teacher, but just someone who studies and relates to someone that does.
The cursing preacher:
$250,000
Jeff, I would be the boy toy with her.;) She is attractive and is apparently one year younger than I am. I would go on a date with her probably.
ReplyDeleteYes, one can state what they like in comments, but I liked the shuffle.
It said the video is no longer available. The article is interesting, though.
ReplyDeleteGene Scott was something else. Check out his 'FCC Monkey Band:'
The Only Way To Treat A Bureaucrat, According To (the late) Gene Scott
Thanks, Jeff.
ReplyDeleteI have viewed it previously, and could see it via Internet Explorer tonight.
Whenever a girl asks how old I am, I reply with, "How old do I look? And, as long as she replies with an age that is less than my true age, I say, "Wow, you're good!"
ReplyDeleteYou are a smart man, Jeff.
ReplyDeleteDoc Love of Doclove.com states not to give women your age until they are interested and dating you. I suppose ageism is a problem facing many in Western society, although Brad Pitt is still highly rated and he is older than I am.
Although Brad Pitt is still highly rated and he is older than I am.
ReplyDeleteFOFLOL!
Well, Sean Connery is way older than me, and he is still considered good-looking. He was named 'People's Sexiest Man Alive' in 1989, when he was 59, and 'Sexiest Man of the Century' ten years later. And yet, with an especially bad case of male pattern baldness, Connery began losing his hair at the age of 21. Without his toupee, he has been thoroughly bald for decades, except for a small ring of now-gray and thin hair above his ears.
(info from: http://www.nndb.com/people/881/000022815/)
Wow, Brad Pitt actually is older than you! I thought you were kidding! But I see he is 44 (born 18 December 18, 1963)! I never realized he was that old!
ReplyDeleteWow...and I see that Tom Cruise is 45 (born 3 July 1962)!
OK, I'm really starting to feel good now! I've suddenly become far less self-conscious about my age! Cool!
Very interesting information, Jeff.
ReplyDeleteI need to buy some of his Bond movies on DVD.
I am enjoying a nice warm evening up in the loft with my shirt off (showing my martial arts muscles off ladies) with my fan at full blast. Days like this are quite common in Florida, but rare in BC. As I become a little older I think I am preferring warmer and sunnier weather.
Don't worry, I am not a poser like Bobby Buff or those 'roid' freaks.
They are older than me by a few years. They were adults when I was still a kid.
ReplyDeleteAnd Tom Selleck is now 63 (born January 29, 1945). Of course, to me, he's really starting to look bad now.
ReplyDeleteI saw someone ask on 'Yahoo! Answers,' "Why do men often get sexier with age when women often get uglier?"
Some of the women's responses to that question were:
-"All the crap we put on our faces through the years backfires on us."
-"Because wrinkles look wild. Guys look sexy because we love "manly" stuff about them, but we women lose our innocent look."
-"Grey hair looks more dignified on a man... and a couple of crinkles around the eyes make him seem wiser, like he's seen more and had more experiences in his life. For women, everything just starts drooping and looking... for lack of a better word, old. Women are taught that tight, smooth bodies are best. It's all in perception."
-"That's a lie.. SOME men get fat and bald when they age too.. some women become hot sexy mamas when they age. It all depend on how they take care of themselves. Look at me... I'm almost in my 30's and I look like hell... and a women I know closer to mid-30ish is hot as heck!"
I heard a preacher on TV the other day say that, in our society today, men generally tend to see women as sperm receptacles, and women generally tend to see men as ATM machines.
Maybe you should put a dating video of yourself on YouTube...or on GodTube.
ReplyDeleteYea, after I get my jaw done.
ReplyDeleteI heard a preacher on TV the other day say that, in our society today, men generally tend to see women as sperm receptacles, and women generally tend to see men as ATM machines.
ReplyDeleteToo often true.
You should make a dating video like this guy did (caution: slight sexual humor; however, it's hilarious):
ReplyDeletePerfect Date Dating Video
Surely you could do better than these guys:
ReplyDeleteDating Losers
Yes, indeed!
ReplyDeleteJust don't be like this guy:
ReplyDeleteFunny Dating Video
He was doing alright until the staged part came in.
ReplyDeleteOK, enough videos of dumb guys who are examples of what not to do. What you're looking for is a girl. Alright, so here you go. See what you think of her:
ReplyDeleteCould this be "the one?"
Um, that would be Christian Cafe, Jeff...almost.
ReplyDeleteRuss,
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, I have contemplated since I saw this post. What does Jim say to this?
Well, for the woman who is coming to meet you...the trip you described reminds me of 'Buddy the Elf's' trip from Will Farrel's "Elf". I think it was the part about the glow. That would be Mr. Buff.
I had visions of the "swirly, twirly Gum drops" until you said the shine was Mr. Buff.
Honestly, this is my best. Will you be forgiving if I just say what comes to mind? You are going to have to be, because you are a Christian.
Actually, I admire you for being so devoted to your education. Almost two decades. There are a lot of woman out there. However, how many of them that do not have children, ex-husbands and bagage, that number is vast! I think you will find that a lot of woman have been playing the field for a long time. However, there are a lot of woman who will appreciate you for your choice of occupation and the extent of education. The unfortunate thing is, a lot of those woman really wanted a man like you all along. They just couldn't wait 2 decades for you to get out of school.
But, wait! There is more.
You will be teaching at some college somewhere. I know a girl who was in her late 20's when she began college for Divinity. They are out there, man.
Have a good night. And, give me something I can comment on.
I almost left a comment on Jeff's blog. But, I needed to do some research on the meaning of the Hebrew characters and what they mean. I probably will tomorrow. Did he ever post a link?
Jim
Thanks much, Jim.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, there are no female comments on this article so far.;) You may very well reject some of what I say, but feel free to challenge me in love, and I shall challenge you back in love if I do not agree with you. If you do not want to write anything, as Bob Ross used to say 'no pressure'.:)
You could always tell me off via email like the cultists sometimes do...lol.;)
Secondly. Jim, your words strike me as wise, thanks. I have just come back from a hour long prayer walk in the heat. I devote myself to the Lord and share some of my anger respectfully with God that I try to avoid with others. I know God is just and that my righteousness is not of my own but only of Christ. I was thinking that with my sleep apnea, allergies and other fatiguing problems while studying, the only way I could have succeeded academically was to bury myself in books. If I would have been social and 'girl happy' my marks would have gone down and I would not have a PhD under review today. The Lord would have had to place someone in my situation of serious study.
You or so right about the women not being able to wait two decades for me, but I am sorry, in a few cases at least I have to wonder if these women have enough integrity to go with a right man even if life is more difficult. I do not mean to offend, but that is my thought.
I know there are many attractive University women, and please may no one misunderstand me, I have NOT rejected women in their early 30s that have been compatible while seeking someone younger, absolutely not.
I should also state that I made mistakes with women, but not with a potentially right one for me.
Yes, Big Jim, Jeff provided a few links.
Russ:)
We have a large Asian presence in our region. Many older Aussie men have married younger Asian women and they have had children. Sadly for the kids their dad's die when they are very young. I recently visited a women who had a then year old son and her husband died at 72. Extremes are always that and not good to use as illustrations. I know of some Aussie couples where there is a gap of around ten years and there does not seem to be a problem.
ReplyDeleteActually the second wedding I ever conducted was a couple where there was 15 years age difference. They have been happily married now for 20 years with three teenage children. The husband is in his mid 50's now. Seems to have worked ok for them.
Catch you soon.
Russell.
I recently visited a women who had a then year old son and her husband died at 72. Extremes are always that and not good to use as illustrations.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Russell.
I agree that is a huge age gap, and I would not want to Father a child at that age.
Russ:)
Be true to your dreams and be open minded, and you seem to be doing both...I commend you for your openness and making yourself vulnerable to critique. I sincerely wish you the very best girl that comes your way and much happiness when your path and hers cross and the magic begins!
ReplyDelete-One that Knows-
Thanks, Anon.
ReplyDeletePlease keep me in prayers.