http://thekingpin68.blogspot.com/2008/07/dangers-of-sentimental-theology.html
Blogger posts a July 1 article on June 30...whatever.
I have never used pick-up lines, and will not use them. I think that they obviously lack sincerity. One is better off researching the subject of dating and relationships from professionals, rather than goofing around with this type of material. But, some of it is funny. This is my second attempt at a scheduled article for July 1 at 00: 00:01 and there will be another article on thekingpin68. I have had some problems with this article, including with posting images, and obviously the article has been posted a day early and so there are Blogger bugs. Please do not be too critical if there are mistakes. I will fix when I can.:)
I am no relationship expert, but I reason a healthy potential relationship should be based on sincerity, honesty, and integrity. If one finds someone attractive and there is not mutual attraction, one should move on...next! That is so simple, but can be difficult to accept.
http://saltnpepper.wordpress.com/2007/10/28/christian-pick-up-lines-a-collection-of-the-worst/
“nice bible.”
Perhaps you will be beaten with it.
“is this pew taken?”
Yes and her boyfriend as in 6 foot 5, 250 pounds.
"i just don’t feel called to celibacy.”
She might after she sees you.
“you are so unblemished that i would sacrifice you.”
She may be willing to sacrifice you.
“i didnt believe in predestination until tonight.”
You have seen the light...well I hope so: Ephesians 1 and Romans 8.
“i believe one of my ribs belongs to you.”
Just go eat some chicken and ribs and don't speak.
“marry me.”
Women have told me that this is stated on Christian Cafe.com.
“if you say no, i will rip out my hair and my beard”
A few of my friends would have little to worry about.
“so, my parents are home, you wanna come over?”
Do not be tempted to use this one, even if Mommy is a good cook.
“you’re totally depraved but i’d still like to go out with you…”
Yes, you have seen the light, again.
http://www.christianpickuplines.com/
What do you think Paul meant when he said, 'Greet everyone with a holy kiss'?
How about a holy slap in return.
How about a hug, sister?
This is worthy of a two-handed, Incredible Hulk slap, perhaps.
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Not as much as your ego is going to hurt in a few moments.
What are your plans for tonight? Feel like a Bible study?
No, I am not that stupid;)), I would not use that one.
Lines Christian Women Use to Break-up
I'm sorry, I've found someone more spiritual.
In the late 1980s, a young blonde told me that I did not have enough Christian friends to have a girlfriend, lame. Hmm, I probably knew more theology when I was 18 than she knows now.
I think we should just be prayer partners.
Thank you, please pray that I will meet women different than you.
You need someone with lower standards.
Now that you have said that, I realize I need higher standards.
Russ;)
I do not, and have never had an account with BMO, and have received many of these messages, supposedly from banks.
PROTECTING YOUR ACCOUNT
Due to concerns, for the safety and integrity of the BMO Bank of Montreal Online Service we have issued this warning message.
As a result of too many incorrect attempts to access and Login failures,
Please note that Your Bank of Montreal Online Account has been terminated. In order for it to remain active,
Please use the link below to proceed and restore access to Your Account:
Restore access to Your Account now!
Thank You.
Bank of Montreal Bank.
Accounts Management
As outlined in our User Agreement, BMO Bank of Montreal® will periodically send you information about site changes and enhancements.
Visit our Privacy Policy and User Agreement if you have any questions.
BMO Bank of Montreal Security and Privacy
Russ,
ReplyDeleteAwsome post! I'm certain some girl will want to respond to this for the humor. She may even give you some more "Christian" Break up lines. If you are not dating her, you don't have to take it personal.
Take a look at what your bank is doing. "has been 'terminated' in order to remain active"! I'm not going to be able to sleep until I have figured that one out. I may not even go to work in the morning. Or, sleep the following night. I mean, What is Russ going to do with a 'terminated' active bank account?
I will have to ask my wife if we can give you a low interest loan.
I know this is not your bank. So, don't worry. I will not offer you a low interest loan. I should probably pray for somebody, though. That bank is making plenty of victims. If this is the case, Congress better hurry and pass Obama's 'Global Poverty Act'.
Take a look at my wife's blog. She has a tender spirit. But, I think she just got a littel rush this evening and, well, I don't know what to make of it. Maybe you Philosphers can figure it out. I'm supposed to comment on it. I did. Let me know if my comment will be sufficient for the philosopher. Her blog: http://vleasure.blogspot.com/
Blogger posts a July 1 article on June 30...whatever.
ReplyDeleteIf you published it for July 1st, what time did you enter for it?
I know that if I put 12 midnight as the publishing time, it will actually publish it a few hours later. It obviously is not on Eastern Time.
Thanks very much, Jim.
ReplyDeleteI have to take my Mom grocery shopping, as she is disabled, but I will check up on articles later.
Russ:)
This is my second attempt at a scheduled article for July 1 at 00: 00:01 and there will be another article on thekingpin68.
ReplyDeleteI guess that answers my previous question, though I'm not sure what time that means. One second after midnight in military time? Zero one-hundred hours and one second, I'm guessing.
Hi Jeff.
ReplyDeleteI entered 00:01, and so one second after 12 midnight. It worked on thekingpin68 but did not work here, but as I stated, this article has had a few bugs. It originally tried to post this for January 7, 2008, even though the exact same settings worked for thekingpin68 article which should publish at one second after midnight.
Thanks for the help, Jeff.
This just arrived via email:
ReplyDeleteDear partner,
Sales Representatives/Collection Agents who can help us establish a medium of getting to our customers in USA and Canada is needed.If interested you can contact me on my email for more information cmiec16@yahoo.com.hk
Thank you for your time
Very Respectfully
Mr Woo Yeng
President/CEO
Very cool, Russ. Take care of that dear Canadian woman.
ReplyDeleteAs you are aware by my last name, I am French Canadian. So, I have a special place in my heart for Canadians.
Jim
“nice bible.”
ReplyDeleteI have never heard Christian pick-up lines before.
Those are hilarious! I would never, ever use such
corny, sad lines. Some Christian comedian must have made these up!
“you are so unblemished that i would sacrifice you.”
That is just sad. Well, actually, it's, um, well, to put it bluntly...stupid! If the girl is a nice girl, she will merely laugh at you. If she's not
a nice girl, she will first slap you, and then laugh at you.
And, if she's not even a Christian, she will do as you mentioned,
and sacrifice you...probably to her steroid-freak biker boyfriend,
who happens to be wearing brass knuckles at the time.
“so, my parents are home, you wanna come over?”
If I heard a guy say this to a girl, after the girl got through
slapping him, I would come over and slap him as well. That is
just an unbelievably pitiful, grossly corny, extremely nerdy line.
You're not even allowed to use that line unless you wear glasses that are taped together at the front.
“you’re totally depraved but i’d still like to go out with you…”
Not even Calvin would be foolish enough to use that one.
What do you think Paul meant when he said, 'Greet everyone with a holy kiss'?
Well, he sure didn't mean it to be used as a pick-up line, you can bet on that!
However, as long as you're gonna be quoting Paul, after the girl slaps you, you can always say, "God is going to strike you, you whitewashed wall! (Acts 23:3) LOL!
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
I think Adam used that one on Eve. That's about how old it is.
The reply will almost certainly be anything from a rolling of the eyes to a mean, nasty retort.
In the late 1980s, a young blonde told me that I did not have enough Christian friends to have a girlfriend, lame. Hmm, I probably knew more theology when I was 18 than she knows now.
She's probably too busy trying to figure out who the fathers of her children are to worry about theology. She probably had many friends---in fact, several football teams!
I think you should send that bank your Social Security number and your bank account number right away, along with the exact amount of your current bank balance, and maybe even your credit card number and expiration date. It sounds urgent!
LOL!
Zero one-hundred hours and one second, I'm guessing.
ReplyDeleteOops, I meant zero-hundred hours and one second.\
It worked on thekingpin68 but did not work here...even though the exact same settings worked for thekingpin68 article...
It doesn't work on satire sites. Only on serious sites.
Those are good comments, Jeff.
ReplyDeleteA lesson here I think is that one, if not a natural, and I am not a natural, should learn techniques in dealing with the opposite sex. But, this should be based in integrity and not shenanigans.
Russ,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the note on "statmeter". It is under consideration.
Jim
Thanks, Jim.
ReplyDeleteI am glad I can possibly assist.
I have just implemented a zero toleration policy for blog trolls whether anonymous or not. Therefore the blog troll comments and all related comments are deleted. Thank you for all the support from those of you that commented, and if you wish to comment again, please do so.
ReplyDeleteA friend called me today and suggested it was common practice on-line to block blog trolls and that it what I should have done. I do not need to expose myself and others to the negativity of a blog troll and all the speculation and confrontation that goes with it. I apologize once again for having to delete all the related comments, but my new policy forces this to occur.
Russ:)
Dear Blog Troll,
ReplyDeleteJust in case you did not find another computer in which to read the reply to you on the original version of the comments, here is a philosophical summation of my reply in your honour. I do not want you to think I am avoiding your criticisms although your style is unacceptable.
-This blog is satire and theology, and so some of it is ridiculous. My philosophical theology blog is more serious. But, no trolls are allowed there either, sorry.
-I have not found someone compatible and that is no secret.
-I can see the playful humour in pick-up lines, and that is why I posted playful humourous somewhat serious replies. I still avoid using pick-up lines, however.
-I agree dating is fun. I am not shallow for looking for spiritual, intellectual and physical compatibility.
-I have a strong Christian worldview in a secular Western world. I have been a student for 17 years, I have sleep apnea, and I have not managed to meet someone compatible. Does that make me unreasonable? Perhaps our secular Western world is unreasonable.
-I have never been seriously interested in a tall blonde I have seen or met in my life. I would find a tall blonde attractive perhaps, and I have been attracted to women of average height and shorter.
-The doorman comment is making fun of myself. With my sleep apnea my weight fluctuates, but I am 5 foot 10, 240 pounds. That is doorman like.
-I am waiting for my PhD under review, I am a full-time student, my Mom has various problems, including being deaf. I live in the loft and she lives downstairs. God willing, when I have a job I will move on and Mom may come along, or move in with my brother.
-I do have insecurities, and also strengths as every person that has tried to disrespectfully take me apart on these blogs has found out.;) Thanks be to God.
-I am loyal, as everyone that knows me well would state.
-Physical attraction is important in choosing a mate. Once the commitment is made as a Christian I will stick with her as looks fade naturally with age, or in the case of an accident.
Great one liners Russ. Being married for nearly 32 years I am not in the need of such material. Keep your options open mate you never know when the right person might just walk across your path.
ReplyDeleteMy two daughters are looking but I think they are pretty fussy these days which is good and bad. They are looking for a good Christian man but probably locally sourced if you know what I mean. They have met some guys when they were in the States but no developments at this point in time.
My brother in law is still looking for the right lady and he's 53 and never married. He studies the bible extensively. Likes time lines and spends hours on genealogy. Not my thing but we all need each other.
Catch you soon.
Russell.
Thanks, Russell, you are an encouragement in this reworked comments section.
ReplyDeleteRuss:)
DUDE: Speaking of bad pick up lines, have you heard about this guy? It wouldn't surprise me if you've already done a S&T article on him. Holy crap.
ReplyDeletehttp://gawker.com/tag/dimitri-the-lover/?i=5020090&t=voicemail-from-the-worst-pickup-artist-ever
Thanks, David.
ReplyDeleteFor any underage folks reading, the story contains the 'F' word and so please avoid the article, if need be.
And now Dimitri is an internet sensation! Where did this come from? It's posted a couple places with various questionable "friend of a friend" descriptions, but maybe this clip is just the PUA equivalent of Viral Marketing?
Yes, David this man is an example of someone who had sexual relationships, but there does not seem to be an interest in true love. Now, I realize true love must often be sought by dating many women, and I have not been able to manage that feat, but sexual relations alone are not enough.
David, that is a good, bad example.
Hey Russ,
ReplyDeleteI am seriously thinking that when I do not take my meds, I become delusional. Even grandios in my dilusions.
Did I send you a comment earlier? I mean, it was a really good philosophical piece.
Jim
Thanks, Jim.
ReplyDeleteI just published your comment on thekingpin68 as well, and I will email the deleted blog troll related comments from this article to you. Feel free to repost them if you wish. I did not want to make someone possibly look foolish by deleting the blog troll comments and my replies and then have a commenter replying to what did not exist in the comments.
Hey Russ,
ReplyDeleteOur BlogRush windows are missing. Do you recon it to be for bad behavior?
Jim
The BlogRush and TrafficJam sites are both down as well, and I could not find an explanation on-line.
ReplyDeleteThankfully we are not paying for the service.
Russ:)
Pick up lines can be fun, but ultimately an intimate committed relationship takes more than pick up lines and shallow humour to make it the distance!
ReplyDelete-Doc Lovey Wuvey-
Thanks, Anon, and I agree.
ReplyDeleteThanks also for the discussion concerning the Blog Troll which was much appreciated.
Chucky sent me this:
Italian Spiderman
I was not clear on the exact definition of a "blog troll" (I guess I'm not quite as Internet savvy as I thought) so I looked it up on the Urban Dictionary site. The two definitions it gave are interesting (at least to me), though crude. Obviously, Russ, the second definition is the one you have been referring to:
ReplyDelete1.(n) -A pathetic and moronic person who maintains a blog with an unhealthy obsessive-compulsive drive, especially angsty goths (sorry to all the likeable goths out there). The content of their blogs usually includes events that no sane person would care about. Here's sample of what a blog troll might write on their blog:
"today, I ate a sanwich. It bad - it was just ok, mediocre, I guess you could call it. After that I read a few chapters out of an Anne Rice book and was deeply moved by her erotic descriptions of gay vampires fornicating. [Insert narciccistic remark here]. Then I took a nap.
2.(n) -A depraved individual who sits in front of a computer all day and posts flames of an idiotic or pseudo-intellectual nature on public forums and private websites. Many of these people actually become emotional about what is said on the afore-said mediums and feel it is their duty to punish those who disagree with them. They too may pursue this object in an obsessive-compulsive manner.
Yes, this person the Blog Troll, was a blog troll by the second definition, although not exactly. I looked at the same definitions previously. I do not see why a blog troll could not do the dirty deed occasionally and still be a troll.
ReplyDeleteChucky told me about trolls the first time I was hit on thekingpin68. If anyone is interested please do a search on thekingpin68 for my article on Incarnation and a homosexual troll with a blog in comments calls me a legend in my own mind.
For those of you troll supporters who may not like me, here is a chance to have a laugh.;)
Thanks, Jeff.
He smokes! He drinks! He hits women! He's fat! He wears a Mexican wrestler mask! He's...
ReplyDeleteItalian Spiderman!
That "Italian Spiderman" is actually better than the first Hulk movie was! And I remember an old "Captain America" TV show that was probably worse than "Italian Spiderman."
"Italian Spiderman" should shoot spaghetti out of his web shooter.
A lesson here I think is that one, if not a natural, and I am not a natural, should learn techniques in dealing with the opposite sex.
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing. Whatever you say, it has to be natural. I have seen guys say something that worked very well for them, but if I said the exact same thing, it would not work for me. Part of my problem is that I can never think of what to say at the time.
Here's where the Bible can come in handy. The Bible says to die to self. Well, when you forget self, that's when you can be most successful. When you're SELF-conscious and worried about failing (i.e., worried about looking like a fool because of your pride; or worried about what others think of you), then that's when you will be unsuccessful. But, I have noticed that the times when I was oblivious to thoughts about myself, and focused on the conversation (forgetting self altogether), that's when I was the most relaxed and free...and, ironically, that's when I was the most 'MYSELF.' So, 'dying to self' can have some very practical applications, even when it comes to socializing with the opposite sex.
This also applies to marriage, I think. When you are focused on the other person's needs instead of your own needs, the marriage tends to be more successful.
So, loving others more than yourself can benefit one not only spiritually, but in interacting with others in the physical realm, as well.
This also applies to marriage, I think. When you are focused on the other person's needs instead of your own needs, the marriage tends to be more successful.
ReplyDeleteAgreed.
I did not like it when the Italian Spiderman hit the young woman, but I have heard that type of act is more acceptable in that culture.
Cheers, Jeff.
Anonymous at 10:48 yesterday said,
ReplyDelete"Pick up lines can be fun, but ultimately an intimate committed relationship takes more than pick up lines and shallow humour to make it the distance!
-Doc Lovey Wuvey-
I can appreciate this comment.
Both persons have to be in a mood for the fun, though. Using pick up lines is risky for that reason. They usually have an effect on breaking into some conversation if the recipiant is in fact receptive and contributes to the dialogue.
Let's face it. Pick up lines are only useful for the innitial approach. In that case, I (before being married) would just ask for a dance or simply tell the woman that I had noticed her a few times and I wanted to meet her. They are usually flattered by that providing, my looks are good enough to not turn the person off immediatly. Also, I have had woman tell me they were flattered but they have a boyfriend.
In one case, the woman was married. She was not wearing her ring because she wanted to be approached. My interpretation was that she just wanted to know she was still attractive. I honestly wonder to this day, however, if she just did not see me as attractive, so she pulled out the ring. Or, she just did not see me as attractive so, she pulled out a ring (heirloom).
If she really was married at the time. Thank God she told me so. However, I have not been able to put that one aside. Not that I have been crushed. Just sincerely curious as to whether she was getting out quick or being honest.
Sorry for run on sentences.
Thanks, Jim.
ReplyDeleteThat is an interesting comment conerning the games some people play.
Russ:)
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I think using pick up lines is a cheap shot. Some of it are witty and funny though. I had a great laugh LOL
ReplyDeleteWatch out the Blog Troll may be offended! I bet he/she has no interest in you though, only me.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your comments, Army.
Russ:)
I FOR ONE do not use pick-up lines. I've never needed to as women are drawn to me.
ReplyDeleteThis is because I am amazing.
You may not know it yet, but I've just cleared all your credit card debt and refinanced your home at 0% APR for 36 months.
ALSO: I'm Jewish. Chicks love the nose.
[That is all]
Thanks, Jacob.
ReplyDeleteI respect Jewish persons in general for their success, and thanks for the refinancing. I need the boost.
I must confess to thinking some Jewish actresses are cute...and some non-Jewish actresses.
Russ;)
Hi Russ,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you basically. However, I enjoy the suprise of looking up, and looking into someone eyes by mistake.
Moreover, I have enjoyed being caught off guard by a "few good" pick-up lines. :)
Nothing like: "Where have you been all my life?
K.Ray
Thanks, K.Ray.
ReplyDeleteNothing like: "Where have you been all my life?
You could answer a guy with:
'Avoiding you.'
'Looking after my sixteen children at the polygamist ranch.'
Russ:)