Thursday, November 06, 2008

How to blow-up your blog without thinking too much



Okay, I need a break from all the Facebook and Blogger material concerning:

a) Obama nation

and/or

b) Obamanation

I have made my views known in the previous article, and I remain the non-conformist who will never run for office and would not be elected if I did, in all likelihood.

I do not claim to have hugely successful blogs, and so I do not approach this article with overconfidence or arrogance. At best, my blogs satire and theology and thekingpin68 are moderately successful, and that is largely thanks to my readers, commenters and links.

Thank you! Please read them often.

I have been blogging with thekingpin68 since 2004 and this blog since 2006. Here from my research are some satirical ways to blow-up your blog without thinking too much.

1. One of the most 'attractive' things to see when I go through Blogger's next blog option is dark theme headings and graphics featuring 666, Charles Manson, death metal, Chucky (no not my friend) demonic and occult material. That is it, give your new readers that very warm and cozy safe feeling right from the start. There is nothing like jolting the readers to get them coming back again and again. Better yet if you can have some death metal music blaring at a very high volume right from the start you will make a tremendous mental (metal) impact on your new readers. And of course always feature tons of blood, 'people love that'. I am sure these bloggers can find a 'wide range' of blog supporters. I would suggest that one look to prisons, insane asylums, and reform schools for blog links.

Revelation 20: 14-15

14Then (AW)death and Hades were thrown into (AX)the lake of fire This is the (AY)second death, the lake of fire.

15And if anyone's name was not found written in (AZ)the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.



2. When someone leaves a comment on your blog, either completely ignore the comment, or better yet erase it later after it has been published. Make sure you come across to your readers with that 'What the hell do you want', type of attitude. Treat your blog commenters like they are telemarketers while your favourite television show is on.

3. Use plenty of ad hominem personal attacks in all your articles and comments. If someone disagrees with you make sure you state that they must hate you and what you stand for with your blog. Imply you are the Blogosphere's Mother Teresa/Gandhi/non-resistant Mennonite as you use vicious ad hominem attacks against your readers that disagree with you in any major way.

Reason that it is okay for you to viciously attack your critics, because you are 'right' and since they are 'wrong' as they disagree with you, and they obviously must hate you.

4. Put on your righteous blogger hat and decide which comments from commenters contain sufficient truth and only publish those. If you think a comment is truthful enough, publish, and if you do not, do not publish. After all, it is your blog and you have the right to have only comments that you agree with on your blog. That is what Canada (or your Western country) is all about, eh.

Matthew 22: 36-40

36"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?"

37And He said to him, " '(AC)YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.'

38"This is the great and foremost commandment.

39"The second is like it, '(AD)YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.'

40"(AE)On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."

Mark 12: 28-31

28(Q)One of the scribes came and heard them arguing, and (R)recognizing that He had answered them well, asked Him, "What commandment is the foremost of all?"

29Jesus answered, "The foremost is, '(S)HEAR, O ISRAEL! THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD;

30(T)AND YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH.'

31"The second is this, '(U)YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

5. Even if you are not famous and well-known in your field with plenty of blog traffic almost immediately, do not make comments on other blogs as even though you are relatively unknown in the field you are blogging in others should see what a brilliant and wonderful person you are. People should be able to find your blog via Google. I mean that is what Google is for, is it not?

6. Forget about linking reciprocally with other blogs and websites as eventually the blogosphere will come to find your blog and traffic will greatly increase as the truth will be revealed that you are a blogging 'supastaw'.

Supastaw that is what you aw.

In the meantime, writing that on-line personal diary is oh so much fun. It is like a notebook accept on-line with all those pretty bright colours.

7. Come across as a real know-it-all. Be so closed-minded and stuck to a certain use of terms that unless someone completely agrees with you and uses all the same terminology, imply they must be ignorant, and therefore if you do publish their comment, lecture them in a very condescending manner. Pretend they are your four year child that has just had a boo boo in the pants after being potty trained.





This has been published previously, but it needs to be published often I am afraid.

Douglas Walton explains that argumentation ad hominem is an argument against the man. It is a personal attack against an arguer to refute the argument. In the abusive form the character of the arguer is attacked. These arguments are often used to attack an opponent unfairly. Walton (1996: 374). Simon Blackburn notes that ad hominem is attempting to disprove what a person is stating by attacking the person, or less commonly by praising the person. Commonly it is a way of arguing forcefully or not, against a view without advancing the counter argument. Blackburn (1996: 24). This latter concept would be that of arguing against a held perspective without making any reasonable counter-arguments.

BLACKBURN, SIMON (1996) Oxford Dictionary of Philosophy, Oxford, Oxford University Press.

WALTON, DOUGLAS (1996) ‘Informal Fallacy’, in Robert Audi, (ed), The Cambridge Dictionary of Philosophy, Cambridge, Cambridge University Press.

33 comments:

  1. Does this stuff really work?!

    I think maybe one specific reader who just enjoyed seven visits to her blog after I sent several people may believe it will work for her. Gone from 0,0,0,0,0,0 readers to 7 to 0,0. Maybe it was when she did not invite anyone to link up with her that she went to the 'o' sooo successful '0' readers who won't buy her books because, they were dissed on Blogger.

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  2. Thanks Jim.

    Bob Ross had The Joy of Painting...

    We need...

    The Joy of Blog Networking.

    There.

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  3. Very good!

    I hate the censorship mentality of some blog owners. People disagreeing with one is fine, so long as they do so in a respectful manner and refrain from personal attacks of either the writer or other commenters.

    Mind you, my chief adversary who has followed me around off and on for about six years now, just piping up to attack me anew without me having spoken to him for years now, did give me the nickname of the "know all of the www" which I found quite a compliment! Because same as yourself, we write from our own perspectives and views, but we don't claim our views as infallible or authorative.

    I do think blog owners can tell if they are moderately successful at what they do, by traffic stats etc. As it is a policy for many people to read blogs but never comment on any, though interaction is always a bonus of course.

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  4. Thanks for the support, Deejay.

    I hope and pray your adversary will go away.

    Russ:)

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  5. "One of the most 'attractive' things to see when I go through Blogger's next blog option is dark theme headings and graphics featuring 666, Charles Manson, death metal, Chucky (no not my friend) demonic and occult material."

    I was toying with that idea, but Mrs. Moogly reminded me that as the "worship leader" at our church, it might be too traumatic for our congregation. Besides...I don't have any death metal music to upload as background. All I have is Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourn, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, etc.--hardly dark enough for this generation! :-)

    "Come across as a real know-it-all"

    Hey...just because I am doesn't mean I try to "come across" that way! :-)

    "Use plenty of ad hominem personal attacks in all your articles and comments"

    This is just too easy; kinda like Howard Stern's "comedy"...it really takes no thought at all...any child could do it!

    GGM

    BTW--our Mac training is going pretty well. We're doing the 52 week "one-to-one" sessions at the Apple store down the street. I think I'll focus on the iLife, iMovie, and the garage band programs most of the time. Supposedly I can plug my bass right into it and record--not that anyone but me would ever want to hear that! :-)

    GGM

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  6. Greetings Russ,

    I wish I had the time to peruse the blog world and attacke positions with which I disagree. Somehow the fact that I have a life prohibits this approach.

    Joyfully Serving,

    Kermit

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  7. Thanks for the Friday laugh, Jason.

    All the best with the Macintosh.

    Russ:)

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  8. Understood, Kermit. Thank you.

    I am not critical of persons that lack the time to blog, or simply choose not to put much time in to blogging, if that is their goal. Once I have full-time work I will not have the 20-30 hours I am putting into blogging now, which also serves me well for teaching experience on my curriculum vitae/resume. With my sleep apnea I have not had the time and energy to teach while completing my MPhil and PhD research only degrees.

    With my comic book blog, kingpinned, for example, I have turned off comments and have no interest in placing the blog within a network, other than being linked with my philosophical theology blogs. Some people do not spend much time on their own blog such as Russell, but are a very good help to me on my blogs, and I would not criticize Russell.

    Russell is very busy with ministry and life, as you are Kermit, I am sure.

    This article is satirical and light, but also somewhat serious and philosophical. I am not trying to attack anyone, but provoke thought. My serious reflections concerning the seven points I made.

    1. The people that put evil, and occult themes and related on their blogs may not care about traffic and network building and many readers will be turned off by the themes. I post Revelation 20 as a friendly warning to those that favour darkness over light and seek the powers of darkness.

    2. It is annoying to leave a comment on a blog and then have it ignored or even worse erased. In contrast, Kermit, you for example, will often reciprocate on this blog with a comment and sometimes answer on your own blog. That is cool. Many persons never do this with me and it makes me think that they basically just want to be left alone or only want a few close associates reading their blogs. Perhaps they should make their blogs private through Blogger. Blogs are on the world wide web for a reason. Some people have seemingly been offended when I the stranger, leave a comment.

    3. There has been a blog recently using excessive ad hominem against a fellow blogger and link. I have also had ad hominem used against me recently by others.

    4. A few Christians do this and this really annoys me. They wish to censor their blogs against views they do not like. To me this is a no no with strangers. We as bloggers have to be able to have disagreement without censorship. Now, I have no problem with leaving some serious personal disagreements for email, and I do this at times, but new comments especially on a blog that are not ad hominem and disrespectful should often be viewed as opportunities for blog growth.

    I then share the great commandments in how to treat God and others. I of course do not claim even near perfection with these matters.

    5. This is directed at some persons that seemingly want to have successful blogs and put the time in with writing many articles, but are not famous within the subject matter of their blogs.

    6. Same.

    I had read similar points on a blog when I was starting out. This helped me with marketing.

    7. With this point I have in mind some very intelligent Christian bloggers with the 'my way or the highway' attitude. They act like they are Paul, Luther or Calvin and treat even the slightest dissenters with a condescending attitude. I admit that these people irritate me, but I am not trying to attack them, but merely point out that their brilliance is not likely enough to build a successful blog, or certainly a very successful blog. Since they are not famous, they need to humble themselves and allow others to express opinion without bringing out the 'belt' so to speak.

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  9. Hi Russ.

    Arrived home late last night and now catching up on all the stuff that has piled up over the past three weeks. Will slowly work through it all and will read your posts I have missed.

    Thanks for the kind comments you made concerning your name sake in Australia. My original intention for my blog was to keep my upwardly mobile family up to date with what I was doing. They are scattered all over the world at different times. Currently my two daughters are in NZ on a holiday and with one son living in Dubai and another in Sydney it has been a good tool to let them know what the old man was doing.

    Your post and subsequent comments have got me thinking a little about the ongoing purpose of my blog considering Face Book has taken over as the main tool to let people know what you are up to on a much more regular basis. All except one of my offspring are on it and many good friends and family are too so the blog may have reached it's use by date. This is something I will consider seriously over the next few weeks. It could lead to a change of material I post up so we shall see.

    My trip away was awesome with some amazing encounters with God and his people. I have some very dear friends in both China and the Philippines and it is a privilege to be a part of their lives. I will post up a short account of my escapades in the next few days.

    Catch you again soon Russ.
    Russell.

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  10. Thanks, Russell.

    I have been receiving some blog traffic via Facebook. Your comments make sense.

    I certainly hope your blog stays around! It is worth keeping even if just to make it easier to comment on other blogs.

    Russ:)

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  11. Russ,
    Your blog is going to 'blow up' if you don't follow up on my generosity. Visit Jody Lynne. You can click here and call her Jody for short.
    Just trying to keep you in the running with KingPin.

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  12. Thanks, Jim.

    That %&*** thekingpin68 keeps pulling ahead of me in links even though I receive more traffic and comments!

    Check out thekingpin68 for some new links.

    Russ;)

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  13. Thanks Russ,
    I am about to peak at my ability to stay awake. It is 2a.m. here.

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  14. Thanks, that post provoked quite a few guffaws.
    Experience and thoughtful observation yield wise insights.

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  15. Thank you to both Big Jim, and Sir Charles Nelson Chuckles.

    Russ:)

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  16. Hi Russ,
    I'm new to all this blogging,Labor Day weekend was my beginning. I fall into the category of trying to limit my time in the blogsphere. Thankful that Jim has linked me up with like minded people and doing my best to keep up but not spend a lot of time at this. Will be checking in though. Jody

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  17. Hey Russ,
    Here is a very good link to try to link with. His name is Yung Suk Kim - click here to visit. I believe he is an educator. I have not met him. But, I have read some of his wit and philosophy. I also know someone who knows him and attest to his character.
    Jim

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  18. Thanks, Jody.

    It is very nice to hear from you and I wish you all the best with blogging.

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  19. Russ,
    When you go to Yung Suke's blog, check out his profile. There is a blog there that deals with the Theology of Paul.
    Jim

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  20. Russ,

    Love the title of your article!
    The dynamite graphic is also great!

    There is nothing like jolting the readers to get them coming back again and again.

    Hey, that's the goal of my own blog site: to jolt my readers! If its not controversial and shocking, I don't want to post it! LOL!

    Make sure you come across to your readers with that 'What the hell do you want', type of attitude. Treat your blog commenters like they are telemarketers while your favourite television show is on.

    Whoah, excellent idea! Thanks for that, Russ! Now I have a new tactic for those who disagree! Cool! LOL!

    Come across as a real know-it-all. Be so closed-minded and stuck to a certain use of terms that unless someone completely agrees with you and uses all the same terminology, imply they must be ignorant, and therefore if you do publish their comment, lecture them in a very condescending manner. Pretend they are your four year child that has just had a boo boo in the pants after being potty trained.

    That's my favorite technique to use against Atheists. Shhh! Don't tell anyone! LOL!

    This has been published previously, but it needs to be published often I am afraid.

    Yeah, especially for those of us who rely on you for such great tactics! Thanks for those excellent ideas! LOL!

    Great article, Russ! That one should get an award!

    (Lighting the fuse on my blog site now...)

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  21. Thanks, Jeff.

    I think your blog will probably be around for awhile.

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  22. Rick is my blogging friend and we as a group stick up for respectful bloggers.

    I visit the blogs I want, and comment when I want, and do not publish people that use ad hominem, on my own blogs.

    And if you do a search you will see that I have discussed Islam.

    I am willing to forgive and love others as self, but will not publish someone that attacks a blog link with ad hominem.

    Bye-Bye.

    Have a nice evening.

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  23. Hey Russ,
    I am sorry to high jack your blog for this. However, I think your blog can get the message out. Wait, maybe I can apply some humor since this is Satire and Theology.
    How about, If you are Barack Obama and want to blow up your blog, you can tell the Supreme Court of The United States of America to find their own 'vaulted copy of Barak's birth certificate by December 1, 2008'.
    This news is just now beginning to break. The mainstream media would not cover the story before, and they are not going to cover it now. But here is something that I posted to Christine of 'Talk Wisdom' from a blogger I met in the Comcast Political Forum. The information appearing on Christine's blog origionated with Sean Osborn of the North East Inteligence Network.
    I tried posting a thread on the Comcast Forums and it was locked as soon as it began taking on life. So, I sent it to Christine and now you.
    Here is her link. If you will just publish this comment, I would be appreciative. Talk Wisdom - click here to read of the mandate handed down to Barak Obama
    Thanks

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  24. Thank you for your high level of integrity and respect which you have kept on your blog. Your articles and people's comments are published with the highest regard which makes your blog a pleasure to read!
    -Avid Reader-

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  25. Russ,
    I see you rejected Wes the hatefilled mormonm.

    He is such a hypocrite, He ban's me from his blog simply because on my blog like yours, I read all replys first.

    Then he (Wes) crys that the mormon coffee blog will not allow him to reply.

    He wonders why every one rejects him, well I allow his hate filled replys on my blog simply to prove a so called mormon has hate like he claims we do. If you look over his rather vulgar replys about me on my blog you can see what a true hypocrite he really is, he claims Jesus said love one another, yet he is vulgar to me.

    And you can read both my blog and his, and you will find no place on his blog me saying anything hateful on my blog or his blog about Wes coming from me, but much from him about me. Rick b

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  26. Thanks, Rick.

    Some bloggers need to learn to disagree with others respectfully, or have a private blog, or should simply give up blogging because they cannot handle intellectual criticism of their blog.

    Sure, it can hurt to have worldview and related views criticized, but a reasonable amount of intellectual criticism of blog articles and a blog is to be expected. I do not want to argue on and on in circles, but I realize that those in the public should have the option to respectfully state their opinion.

    Personal attacks/ad hominem just demonstrate intellectual weakness and can lead to an environment of hostility which may bring in traffic for awhile at least, but also can turn many readers away from a blog.

    It is wrong to assume that intellectual disagreement with a worldview necessarily equals hatred of those that hold that worldview. On my blogs I disagree with many views, including some that are from Christians, and with God’s help I hate no one.

    Russ

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  27. Hey Ruskel,
    Here is a worthwhile blog to visit. He is a Worship leader. You can turn him on to your blog and I'm sure he have some insiteful things to say, based on the heart of a worship leader.
    His blog is Dave's Worship Notes .

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  28. Hello Russ!

    LOL! i Love your matter of fact sense of humor! Truth mixed with humor is good in this case anyways.

    I will have to confess that it might be a miracle that i haven't blown up my blog, because i don't always reply to my comments.. oops!

    I just figure most people don't come back once they have read and commented.

    Blessings to you Russ Tamela:)

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