Satirical Medical Updates

Derbyshire, Ockbrook, England-trekearth

United Kingdom-Google Images

Google Images

Part 1: CNN

CNN-August 11, 2013

Quotes:

'Scandinavian skinny-dippers warned of testicle-biting fish'

'The Pacu, native to South America, was found by a fisherman in the Danish/Swedish strait of Oresund, according to experts at the Natural History Museum of Denmark. Though the fish has big teeth and looks menacing, it is generally known as a friendly cousin of the piranha. The Pacu's large teeth aren't as sharp as the piranha's but are "fully capable" of severing fishing lines and fingers, the museum's experts said. Oh yeah, and the Pacu is vegetarian, unlike it's meat-eating cousin. So why should swimmers beware? Pacu fish love crushing nuts with their powerful jaws and sometimes can mistake the male reproductive organs for their favorite snack.'

'Meantime, the advice of the museum's experts is this: "Anyone choosing to bathe in the Oresund these days had best keep their swimsuits well tied."'

End quotes:

Are you nuts?

I am wondering now if in Denmark an insurance company is considering creating a testicular insurance policy?

Part 2: My toenail surgeries, both feet later today stay tuned...

It was a warm 75 F/24 C degree day in Maple Ridge and I wisely did the fifteen minute walk up large hills to the podiatrist's office in order to have two toenails removed. It had to be done. It is part of the price to pay for years of working out, walking, light jogging, ball hockey, and of course martial arts.

I would have to state that the injections at the base of the toe probably hurt as much or slightly less than the ones I used to receive when I had blood tested in regard to sleep apnea. I am off those medications.

Admittedly, I became pretty woozy as the extractions were being done, one on each foot, although I have had them done several times. But I asked the surgeon for a cup of water and I could sense I was coming back to normal (50%, 75% then close to 100%).

I was going to post a photo post-surgery, but on second thought...

So, I had to walk home in the 75 F/24  degree heat post surgery with no medical worker of any type to assist me or hold my hand (only females acceptable of course) with that fifteen minute journey.

Not the most recommended Summer outing connected to a walk...

Not a relative of Bobby Buff?

Yes, more profitable than two more teams in Southern Ontario with
 thirteen million people, or a team in Quebec City or another team in Montreal...