A Philosophy of Exercise: Six Pack?

Matin Serain, France-trekearth

A good friend of mine has stated that I look a bit like 'The Thing' from the Fantastic Four. Well, looking at my recent photos, is there a supposed resemblance? I am pretty certain he is meaning I look like The Thing based on muscular body shape...

Not because I look like a monster, made of rock. Except maybe to toddler friends. Since as long I can remember I have always exercised/worked out regularly; back when I was four when we lived in Port Coquitlam my brother would take us out to play ball hockey.

I played ball hockey for many years and was a better than average scorer. A good but not spectacular player on forward and defence.

Now in order to do something different but similar, I play soccer with a friend and his family. I am not, because of only average pace, particularly good at scoring, although my shot is getting heavier. I am good at defending because 'The Thing' can simply get in the way.

I have never been a particularly fast runner.

I have discovered that I am quite good a playing 'football' goalkeeper, that is at least with ball hockey nets being used on the outdoor grass. That is the nets formerly used for playing ball hockey which are many times smaller in dimension than the tradition soccer/football nets.

I state this humbly, very humbly, but in our small group, I have never played organized soccer/football, but whether I play primarily with the 'younger guys' with the speed, or with the 'older guys' with the muscle whichever teams I play in goal for usually has won the match. And this has been for a two to three year period now. And I give up few goals.

And yes I am playing against Mr. Bobby Buff that has played organized soccer and kicks the ball at me close to full force; getting dangerously close to my head from Mr. Buff and his brother-in-law that last few times. But that is sport.

Philosophically, I am a decent goalkeeper because I studied goaltending mentally watching years of National Hockey League games and to a less extent years of UEFA European football matches.

I put the mental knowledge to use and as well my fairly fast hand and leg reflexes from working at martial arts for decades and martial arts weapons since after the Manchester, England bottle incident/attack in 2000 seem to kick in and assist me as a goalkeeper to stop fast and quick shots often.

Even though I am not a classic by North American standards 'cute six pack', when I see my MD my blood pressure is excellent as are my statistics.

The point here?

At work I see so many of the workout techniques with the workout classes taking place and I can very much see why persons would be very unmotivated to perform such stressful and unnatural acts for a prolonged period.

Such an approach has never interested me whatsoever.

Not to mention to have to associate in a gym that smells of body odor, chemical cleaner and leather combined with no open window ventilation for security reasons.

Almost as bad as working out in a washroom.

I think philosophically and practically that people that are hesitant about exercising or working out should find something that they like to do that will burn sufficient calories, not digesting too many daily calories.

If one likes to dance, dance. Or perform ballet or whatever. To pick up boulders and rearrange them whatever.

I reason a person needs to really enjoy the exercise and workout routine to continue with it for years and years and for it to not become quickly a tedious and boring routine.

Perhaps there is so much pressure in Western society to have a 'near perfect' like body that exercise systems are developed to tone all the muscle groups, but these types of workouts are in my mind often unnatural, tedious and boring.

Perhaps in many cases such systems do not provide a person with a motivation to continue for years and years?

This is why I play soccer.

I walk, while I no longer do this as workout  because I walk approximately fifty miles a week at work.

I workout with martial arts with weapons and dumbbells. There is some light running.

My MD has basically told me that I will not have a six pack body anyway.  I realized this on my own.

In other words I am too muscular, and the facts are quite simply that many if not most people in Western society will not ever have the supposed near perfect body either and so persons should have effective exercise systems that burn significant, sufficient calories that provide continued motivation for years.

Not ones they might be part of a cookie-cutter six pack exercise program.

Even acknowledging while a six pack look might often be more ascetically pleasing, it may not be practical for each person.

The Thing: Marvel

Having second thoughts?

Sunday Signs

Munich-trekearth

Wembley Stadium-Wikipedia-The home of the final.

The Guardian

Bayern Munich 2-Borussia Dortmund 1

Munich wins their fifth European title.

Facebook status:

'Harald's heart was broken and Dean showed up five minutes after the game ended... VG match.'

I may add to the signs if I find more quality ones that will load. Thank you. Some signs for tomorrow...

Swick.co.uk-This has never happened to me, although I have had a dog pee on my leg when I was little.:( In a public library! (2015 Update: Sadly, I was pooped on by crows @ work).

Upha.com-There is some American spirit for you...

Thanks to Philip via Facebook-Troubling to consider the philosophical and intellectual state of affairs that led to the creation and posting of these signs.

Google Images-And why risk picking up 'Charles Manson' in the first place? King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Proverbs 4:7. King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.) How much better is it to get wisdom than gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver! Proverbs 16:16

Pinterest-Well, two homosexual guys want the woman gone, is one interpretation.;) By the way I have seen like in stalls twice in my life, both times in England. Once with male-female, the other time male-male and yes I left the restroom quickly.  The second time was just before the bottle incident actually, the same night. 

Hahasigns.com-I remember when I was a child that the circus was a much larger part of Western culture and seemed to be highly regarded.  Now often when I hear about circus workers they are often confused and compared with carnies. As if perhaps in a negative light.

Yes in animals in prohibits procreation, but so would an owner having control of one's animal. I know with the example of our German Shepherd, surgery did not stop his 'drive'. 

Google Images-Two responses: One, for the Christian there is some truth to this sign as yes we in the Church do not always treat each other properly in the Church. Therefore, Christians should prayerfully attempt to love others both in and outside of the Church (Matthew 22, Mark 12) as neighbours and love as self and represent God well. Two, I think this type of philosophy is used as an excuse by some non-believers in a rejection of the Gospel. The Gospel, however, is true or false regardless of the actions of people, at least to a major extent, I realize the Church led by the Holy Spirit should provide significant good fruit, it is still crucial as a sign of being from God,  but the Gospel is true or false based on the evidence of mainly Biblical religious history and teaching, theology, philosophy, archaeology and related.

Google Images-I admit, once again as a kid in the 1980's I did not pick-up, nor did my friends. It was not part of the culture as much back then, but of course I would now, or train my dog to clean up like the one in the photo. I should also admit that we walked the dogs at our old Elementary School and so maybe some of it was a bit of a subconscious message.;)

Well, the United States will never win the FIFA World Cup in all likelihood, so this is a  'sign' of the bitterness.

I am thinking 'lazy city workers'. Why has this not been fixed?

Google Images-Hebrews 10:24-25 English Standard Version (ESV) 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10: 24-25. Church is vital, however this rather fundamentalistic  looking sign is brief and presents a simplistic view and does not convey the important message that church is not enough. I reason the Devil has some people that attend all kinds of churches. As in pseudo-Christian cults and even Christian cults, for example. Keys are to be chosen in Christ (Ephesians 1, Romans 8) and guided by the Holy Spirit unto good works (Ephesians 2) in the context of attendance at a Biblical Christian church. Study, fellowship and prayer being crucial.

Google Images-'Gee' Bob I wonder how damaged we can get this sign to look with public assistance?

Swick.co.uk-A Southern based US NHL team already on thin ice financially, could play an exhibition match there...

Google Images-Hmm, I do not think this means that men should be wearing athletic supporters at this park.

The Christian and The Martial Arts

Yuanyang, China (trekearth.com) 

February 25, 2012 

I started at Karate-Kung Fu at a paid club at age of seventeen but after two years realized that Kata and much of what was being taught was not much practical good to me in the context of self-defence, a street fight, or against weapons. I was never interested at all in any of the spiritual aspects of the martial arts, so any hyper-fundamentalist at this point can take a chill pill. As well the club I joined divorced this from its practices. 

So, having been provided some basic knowledge, I quit classes after two years and spent years with martial arts bag work and sparred with a few friends over the years to develop my skills. I did significantly improve. I also read on the martial arts and bought videos. I studied off of the internet. I realized that to avoid weapons defence training as an aspect of self-defence was unwise and so I trained with mock knives as part of sparring. In fact a friend was stabbed with a stick in the hand on one occasion... A minor wound. He told me this training may have saved him in a knife incident at work years later. There was evidence that I was improving over the years. 

In Greater Manchester (1999-2001) in the beginning of my PhD studies I was burgled twice and I got myself out of a couple of potential fights by standing up to hoodlums, which are quite common in Northern England, sad to state. The first time I was burgled I was back home in BC, Canada for Christmas and all my electronic equipment was stolen. The second time, I wisely stored everything with a friend, accept for a couple things I forgot. At the location I was burgled the second time and where I lived where I was attacked, which I shall describe shortly, a neighbour was actually murdered. Apparently a person or person tied this man to a chair, beat him to death, took nothing and left the door of his flat wide open for all to see. 

The rumour was that this man had been having affairs with underage girls which would be easy to believe from all the teen mothers that could be viewed in the area, but the grocers that knew the man stated he was clean and that the murder was for another reason, perhaps random reason. Anyway, Uncle Chuck and I were in Downtown Manchester, Decemeber 2000 and were attacked by three men that I later realized were part of a pack of approximately thirty men, some were drunk. I ended up fighting three and was winning the fights on points but due to my conservative approach, because I did not want to get stabbed by turning my back on one of them (assuming they could have knives or screwdrivers), did not go in harder to knock one of them out or at that time have the knowledge I do now concerning choking them out, or was as used to throwing someone to the ground as I would be now, and therefore in frustration to save face one of them called me a an 'f' er' and threw a bottle at me from a distance (as I had clocked him with a severe round house kick and punches and he had left) and it hit me in the nose breaking it and two of my front teeth. 

This actually made my sleep apnea go from two stage (born with) to three stage. Thankfully this is quite a bit better with treatment and will never be that bad again. The lessons. The Karate/Kung Fu class only served me with basics. The bag work only served me with the basics. The best and more advanced martial arts work I have done is to take the basic physics of punching, kicking, choking, holds, and basic take downs, and to apply them to street fighting offence and defence, including weapons. This was done in the context of sparring as well. I would also strongly suggest that persons arm themselves within the rules of the law. I won the fights in Manchester on points, but I should have fought more offensively and attempted to take the three guys out and perhaps I would not have been bottled. But, even then I still could have faced thirty more men. 

Sometimes the use of a weapon or weapons, within the rules of the law is the best answer for a reasonable chance of survival. I realize I have a fair amount of female readers and Blogger has mainly female members, and I would advise females to learn self-defence, and martial arts and to also arm themselves within the limits of the law. I am not sure if Art Martial has anything to do with this post.

My photo 1: These are the metal clubs I use at home to practice with and I also use these during sparring sessions. I also use a metal baseball bat, wood club and purchased legally a Swiss Army Knife that is used with the blade retracted for sparring purposes. 

My photo 2: Uncle Chuck

My photo 3: Zombie with a six pack...

  

Tuesday Bullets: Arne posted this street fight

Tuesday Bullets: Arne posted this street fight

Photo: Vancouver 2018 

• Ron Barnes: Marine unloads a whole can of "WhoopAss" on litterbugs!

• Thank you to Arne, the Norwegian Benny Hill for posting.

• Not sure if this is a real event or fictional (theatrical). I briefly looked for it elsewhere, but could find nothing.

• I won the fight against three in downtown Manchester, England on December 24, 2000.

• But I was still bottled by one of the thugs that threw a (wine?) bottle at me from a significant distance.

• My fault was fighting too defensively, as I was too concerned about being knifed or stabbed with a screwdriver. (Local knowledge was punks carried screwdrivers)

• I kept my distance and I was unhurt by the punches from three, but because I did not move in and take them out, I was cowardly bottled. (A friend had left me to fight alone after I stepped in to assist him).

• To be clear, I absolutely do not seek violence. I obey law and order from the state (Romans 13, 1 Peter 2).

• A few weeks after the Manchester brawl, I emailed a former American operative (hitman?) with a website, that stated I needed to flee in that situation, but there was nowhere to run, and there was up to 30-50 punks it turned out.

• All buildings were closed.

• Or my other option was to take people out, he stated.

• I changed my approach to martial arts and street fighting going forward.

• After I was bottled, I switched to weapons training. (legal knives, legal bats, legal carbon fibre knuckles, etcetera)

• I switched to even more street fighting techniques and less karate.

• I studied several videos and books.

• I sparred with people for years, adding these newer techniques.

• I switched to some key chokes and grips.

• I was eventually trained online with two courses from a New Jersey, MMA trainer.

•  IMHO, my punches and kicks were as quick and powerful as my trainer's, but I added as key, rear naked chokes, guillotine chokes, triangle chokes, limited grappling, more elbow strikes, and throws to my martial art/street fighting style.

• If this video is real, this younger man is significantly trained and proficient.

• He did far superior in his fight than I did in my Manchester encounter, because he fought offensively against the untrained and he did not face a weapon.

• But, I have vastly improved.

• I did do that well in my karate, orange belt testing though, in my teens.

• My analysis of the video...

• Twice the 'marine' turns his back on his opponents, he should have instead walked backwards to his vehicle to keep an eye on his opponents.

• As he is very trained, he can easily defeat his opponents, but he should always consider that his opponents might resort to weapons to 'save face'. (As happened to me)

• I hear a foreign language, perhaps French, when the 'marine' returns to the car after being pushed. (A US marine? Hmmm)

• The car plates of the opponents look European...

• The 'marine's' opponent1 foolishly has a very open stance. He instead should be turned to the side with both arms/hands up as a defence. (This fight looks a little too clean for me, but I absolutely do not know it is fictional/theatrical).

• The 'marine' strikes opponent1 with a straight punch it looks like. The attack made easier by the man's open stance.

• The opponent1 should have his hands up to deflect in-part the straight punch.

• My defence at this point, very much changing my style from the Manchester incident, would be to deflect the first punch and counterattack immediately.

• At the same time I would need to move my head out of the way.

• My MMA trainer from New Jersey is an expert on head movement and emphasized this in training. I have added more of this to my style.

• He challenges people on the street to punch him in the head and rarely is hit.

• Another option for the attack against opponent1 is one of two left arm locks (or right arm locks, if the 'marine' punches with the left hand) that I actually learned in my karate days as a teenager. 

• I foolishly should have used these in the Manchester fight, but again was concerned about getting too close and getting knifed or stabbed with a screwdriver.

• I also had three people trying to hit me at once.

• Both of the arm locks I practice work well with the left arm locking and a right elbow strike, or perhaps a hook punch to the jaw.

• In can even work well leading to a very effective guillotine choke.

• But dodging that first straight punch is easier said than done with someone as young and fast as this 'marine', that is likely someone from Europe or Eurasia.

• It is reasonable though to turn enough, with arms up, to not take the punch at full force.

• Opponent2 is struck by a front kick, which might indicate the 'marine', has karate training or like.

• I am particularity muscle thick in the stomach area (so said two nurses and MD), and higher up. I am likely to just be stunned by a front kick and therefore able to strike again.

• Not a good strike versus me, IMHO.

• A front kick is not my choice in a fight, it is more of a 'jab' kick. Not a finishing move.

• It is delivered too high by the 'marine', if used, it is better to be targeted at the stomach to wind someone or to strike someone in the genitals.

• Followed up by finishing moves or move.

• I would face a front kick with a side stance. I also practice, taught by my MMA trainer, a deadly takedown move using a gable grip on a caught foot, perhaps from a front kick, or roundhouse kick.

• Easier said than done at the speed that 'marine' is kicking though, but his front kick should not be faced with an open stance by opponent2.

• But, if my gable grip defence from my mentor worked, I would sweep the remaining leg, from the front or back, while simultaneously pulling the attacking leg as hard as I can.

• The attacker still will hit the ground as well...

• This is a devastating defence, if used successfully on a few levels as far as potential damage to leg, knee, hips and head.

• Unless one is 'Bruce Lee' or 'Chuck Norris' like, consider mainly using low kicks and saving high kicks as finishing moves when the opponent is exhausted.

• The 'marine' uses an impressive sweep against opponent3, which is made easier because the opponent has a stance not prepared for attack but only offensive, seems to me.

• I work on keeping my feet apart to avoid sweeps and also takedowns from grapplers that come at me from the shoot.

• The 'marine' next does a quick, very impressive throw against opponent4, I will admit I have not practiced that move.

• But, I do not like how the opponent lands...too securely. I do not want a feet first landing for an opponent in a street fight. 

• My throws would be, like the gable grip leg defence, aimed  more at a direct knockout using the environment, as opposed to a takedown. 

• Not sure the opponent2 wanted to fight any more. He should have stayed further back and ended up being punched with a straight punch and two hook punches.

• The headbutt on opponent1, is an excellent move and is one that I practice.

• Again, the headbutt can be defended by having a side stance.

• Overall, the 'marine' would be a significantly difficult opponent, largely due to the speed of his attack, but the results would be less clean versus opponents well-trained with street fighting techniques.

• The results could also be less clean against opponents physically larger and more muscular than the ones he fought, but he is an impressive fighter for sure.

• Because he did not knock his opponents out, or at least  knock one of them out, to scare the others, he did risk facing a weapons attack.

• This problem pointed out to me by the former American operative, after my own incident.

The non-conformist of the year awards

Bobby Buff-10x winner
Chucky-2x winner
Documentary Man-2x winner
Jeff Jenkins-2x winner
Zombie-2x winner
Cousin Buff-1x winner
Manson-1x winner
thekingpin68-1x winner

January 11, 2010

2009: Mr. Jeff Jenkins (2x winner)

Jeff is also a very fine graphic artist.

I have still have not met Jeff in person, and when I do will wear a bullet-proof vest and have the bomb squad on speed dial, but for the second straight year he is our winner. For his 2008 write-up and all the other write-ups about these clowns please see below.

Hey, Jeff, please don't open any anonymous packages at your door.

Well, I thought that my blog posts concerning theodicy, the problem of evil, free will, determinism, the NHL, Latter-Day Saints, Jehovah's Witnesses, save the gay whales, and relationships were controversial enough, but THE JEFF blows that away. Here are some recent post titles:

Islamic Slavery

Islam: Tears of Jihad

Muslim Brotherhood 'Conspiracy' to Subvert America

Barack Obama the Beast of Revelation...okay, that is not on Jeff's blog.

The Jeff

Now, I provide his link while selfishly stating that you are better off reading my wonderful, awesome, 'fatastic' blogs thekingpin68 and satire and theology. So if you have ten minutes to spare please give Jeff's two minutes and mine eight.

Jeff mellowed a bit in the fundi department this year which was nice to see. Thankfully, however, he still does not think that humankind evolved from apes, although when I think of couple of my male friends...I do wonder.

The also-rans...

thekingpin68: Yes, I ran a fair amount in 2009 as my dental apnea appliance is moving me in a healthier direction. I of course remain macho theology/philosophy man. I would have blown a gasket had Wales given me a MPhil in January 2009 instead of a PhD with revisions. Now I just need that final word from Wales.

BTW, Wales is a country Americans as opposed to save the gay Whales.

Bobby Buff: I am glad you have that 'radio' installed in your chest for your ticker. But, I do not know why you cannot connect it to my computer speakers and play us some good music. Thanks for all the smart*** blog comments in 2009.

Saint Chucklins: Perhaps you should open up your own Mennonite/Presbyterian monastery/psych ward, with funding from governments of course. See previous entries.

January 4, 2009

2008: Mr. Jeff Jackson (a.k.a. Jenkins) (1 x winner)

Mr. Jeff Jackson is my supportive friend and has the Thoughts and Theology blog. He is the first person that I have not actually met in person to win the non-conformist of the year award. This award that has existed, at least in my mind since 1989, has been dominated by Bobby Buff, who also has various other aliases, but in my mind Jeff deserves it for 2008.

The award existed in paper text format for years and has been on-line since 2006.

From Jeff's one profile picture I must state that it is nice to do the cross-cultural friends thing with someone that at least looks part black.;) I reason I am doing my bit for world peace and for peace and diversity within the 'body of Christ.'

Hey baby you're cool.

What has Mr. Jackson done in 2008?

He has supported my blogs thekingpin68 and satire and theology. Thank you, Jeff.

He has taken a stance against the acceptance of homosexual practice in the church and in society to the point of sometimes 'fundi' zeal. He attempted to take my head off/choke me out/Chuck Norris me/toss me like the Lochness Monster tossed that British presenter/force feed me an entire bottle of 'Happiness' spice from Rick Beef one time in a post where I stated that in Canada as we now have same-sex marriage, I would rather have the compromise in our very secular and non-Christian society of same-sex civil unions. Of course I would more prefer neither same-sex marriage or civil unions, but Mr. Jackson was worked up over the issue in Florida and let his canons rip!

Jeff acted like the last man remaining in a Zombie movie!

Sometimes Mr. Jackson needs to have a cold shower running because he gets so overheated as he begins to burn his keyboard. He actually fried a couple of the deadly spiders that infest his house by breathing on them. He would have snacked on them if he had a bottle of 'Happiness', but he did not.

Mr. Jackson also can go nuts on Facebook. He is a great supporter of my blogs on Facebook, thanks Jeff, but he goes a bit crazy with the applications...wow, he has stated he often has about a hundred messages to deal with. Perhaps Mr. Jackson should get a job as a graphic illustrator for Facebook.

Mr. Jackson is wisely not a supporter of the theory of macroevolution, however, if he saw my hairy friends Chucky and Deeaaaan, he may reconsider.

Chucky stated: Golly gee whiz, that Bobby sure features prominently in the awards, don't he?



2007: Chucky (2x winner)

A.K.A.:

Chuck
Sir Charles Nelson Chuckles

Congratulations, Sir Chucklins!

Chucky is so committed to his family that he has dedicated himself to near monastic like existence. He even forsakes many job opportunities in order to stay closer to Maple Ditch and assist his family. He has also forsaken purely hypothetical opportunities for true love, although they were seemingly few and far between, kind of like Manson’s nose hair trimming escapades, Zombie’s Bible studies, thekingpin’s dates, and Bobby’s trips over seas. It is tough finding a compatible Christian woman in ‘Vangoober’ (as the NBA commissioner kind of sounded like he pronounced it).

Chucky is such as nice guy, that in 2007 he visited on-line an atheist blog to assist a Christian blogger who was facing abuse, and Sir Charles was called an a hole is the process. Chuckles will walk ‘into it’ for a fellow human being, and that is the good Mennonite way! They should be called Men no knights. Chucky would give you the shirt off his back, and Bobby Buff would definitely give you the shirt off his back. Some guys are so hairy or have so much stomach muscle that they should never give someone the shirt off their back.

Also-rans:

Bobby Buff had a rough 2007, but still managed to shine…thanks to Crisco. He helped lead a peasant’s revolt against a tyrannous industry and now works for higher wages and with more reasonable hours, and yet an evil still lurks.

Cousin Buff our 2006 champion, had a lavish wedding attended by the College of Cardinals and Pope Benedict XVI. I asked the Pope that since the NFL’s Saint Louis Cardinals moved to Arizona, if the College of Cardinals would ever consider moving to the United States for a better lease, and more revenue from outside sales, and he gave me a flat ‘no comment’. Cousin Buff’s wedding featured dancers from 190 nations, although the Palestinian dancers would not go on the same stage as the Israeli ones. Cousin and Bobby Buff did an impromptu dance with their shirts off all greased up to raise money to pay for the wedding and reception. Cousin Buff and his new bride went to her Asian homeland to rent a huge truck and deliver garbage into neighbourhood bins. It was called ‘Project Buff Up’.

Documentary Man continues teaching at a preppy school in central Florida and avoided having his tires slashed in 2007.

Zombie is still paying his debts, although he does not seem to own a heck of a lot despite all the payments he makes. Zombie’s finances are perhaps like one big hole in the ground.

Philosophy Man and the Bulgarian Princess had a beautiful baby girl and not the triplets as speculated. The two month old has already shown a great interest in samba dancing and has the run of the house. She is being taught, sub-consciously as we speak, how to nag Daddy…;) Thanks for the New Year’s party!

Thekingpin68, yours truly, has had his sleep apnea relapse. With all the taxes we pay in this country the government will not pay to have my jaw moved forward. I need ideas for collecting the $15,000 plus needed for the jaw surgery. I need to finish my PhD and find work…duh.

February 10, 2007

Update:

Philosophy Man and his dear wife Bananjela today sent out one of those this is how our year has been emails to friends. It was well done and highlighted some nice new pictures on their website. I admit myself to have sent out those kinds of mass emails with bcc when I was in England, as in this is how crappy my year has been, but thankfully things are somewhat better now. Thankfully, or perhaps not, depending on your perspective the email gave me an idea for a satirical, somewhat fictional account of the year of the non-conformists.

Here it is:

Greetings this is thekingpin. I am sorry for writing this impersonal mass, bcc email but I have spent much of the last two evenings and mornings staying up sending out problem of evil questionnaires to those persons I know worldwide. I was therefore tired and was faced with the option of writing to each and every one of my dear friends personally, or trying to win an Actual Soccer tournament on my Mac clone. Clearly you can see which choice I made. Please don’t feel bad as losing occasionally does not make you a loser.

2006 was fatastic for me as I lost almost 20 pounds after my two sleep apnea surgeries. I also lovingly welcomed several large dark clumps of vitreous floaters into the back of my eyes, especially the right. It is so cool trying to read and having those pretty artistic black wispy lines floating back and forth. I really appreciate my local eye doctors telling me how acceptable they were and warning of me of the evils of heading down to the Excited States to have them removed, even though these local doctors were not technically familiar with what the doctor in the Exited States did, and were not willing to find out. Thanks to the wonderful surgeon here my nose no longer closes up at night, and without my tonsils and uvula I no longer wake up at night gasping for air and scaring the tar out of anyone who happens to hear me.

Academically it appears that things are going well. I am cool with the department as long as I don’t talk about everlasting hell, evolution, abortion, ufos, homosexuality, Michael Jackson, or why England has not won the FIFA World Cup since 1966.

Chucky’s star has continued to rise in the church choir circles. Chucky Saint Divine: Choir Boy for the 21st century. As well, he is becoming known on the net as Sir Charles Nelson Chuckles the debonair comic book collector. Clearly this man is on his way up. He has purchased a new pair of glasses, which give him that baby eyes look, as opposed to the other pair of Lennon’s, which at times give him the snotty French debonair comic book collector look. With French accent, “Oui, Oui, you English pig dog, how dare you want to trade that modern age comique for my bronze age masterpiece!”

Documentary Man’s star also rose in 2006 as he is becoming known as the most overeducated and intellectual prep school teacher in America. Since it is too much of a pain in the ass to get a PhD and teach graduate students, Documan wisely simply teaches the youngsters at a PhD level. Documan had a difficult time in the beginning convincing the administration that a 50% grade in his class was an A, but they eventually went along with it.

Bobby Buff is quickly become known for his book and CD; congratulations my friend. Bobby’s deal with Crisco has paid dividends as each book and CD has a Crisco coupon within. Crisco donates 1 cent from all sales to the Columbia Bible College: East Maple Ridge project. Bobby hopes to one day build a satellite Columbia site in East Ridge and coax all the old retired professors from the 1990’s out of retirement, or out of the grave if need be by prayer, in order to teach there.

Cousin Buff has continued with his environmental awareness and rumour has it has been visiting several lonely garbage bins throughout the Lower Mainland.

Philosophy Man and Bananjela have continued with their environmental work as well. There is hope that eventually their family shall increase in size and they can buy the lot across the street and build a centre for environmental awareness and samba.

Little John has had a good year of work and his career is blossoming. He is planning a few trips and may one day work on his PhD. Have you looked at Brown University?

2006: Cousin Buff (1x winner)

He dethrones his cousin, Bobby Buff, and the throne is a sensitive subject in our group!

Bobby Buff wanted:

The body of Arnold...
The voice of Elvis...
The spirituality of Jesus...

He received:

The body of a 'Big Jim'...
The voice of Buddy Holly...
The spirituality of Mister Rogers...

Sir Chuckles of Haney, thinks I was lenient in not giving the 2006 award to Bobby Bluffeuffofus because I somewhat overlooked the seriousness of Bluff stating one night that his children, presently under the age of 10 years old, would not in the future attend college or University.

The Garbage Man cometh!! We have a new, first time winner of the non-conformist of the year award. Cousin Buff, congratulations!! Why is Cousin Buff our 2006 winner, especially since I saw him less than five times this year? At the Buff family fire a few months ago, Cousin Buff was ranting and raving on cousin Bobby Buff's new book, 'Son, don't just bluff look buff'. Cousin Buff went on and on, "wow, wow, wow, wow". Meanwhile Chucky and I looked at each other thinking, the book is good, but not that good. One would think that Cousin Buff was considering Bobby's book for Biblical canon status, or perhaps if not canon, Bobby's book should considered for Church Father status, as the volume would be credited to the Greek Father, "Saint Bobbus Bluffeuffofus". One would think that Bobby would soon be on Oprah flogging the book. Cousin Buff and his girlfriend apparently set up a table at his church presenting Bobby's book. Yes, of all the books in the world, they push the book of a 160 pound, greased up, well meaning weight trainer who wants his sons to grow up right, and slight. Were the writings of Augustine, Luther, or Calvin at the table? No! Instead the table featured the work of theological wizard Bobby Buff. Months later, I heard from Bobby that Cousin Buff listened to the pre-production version of Bobby's new CD, "Plastic Retractions" and once again the response was "wow, wow, wow, wow". The CD is good, but by no means should be confused with a classic. Perhaps it would be "plassic"?

The main reason Cousin Buff is the winner for 2006, is that he has shown an uncommon care and concern for the environment. Cousin Buff failed to make it to the dump to drop off garbage in the back of his pick-up truck at the end of a work day. He knew that the dump would be closed for the weekend and was so concerned with environmental problems such as garbage odour, sabotage from rats and dogs, the ozone layer, and global warming, that something had to be done with the trash that night! After viewing a hockey game with yours truly, Cousin Buff, driving us home in his truck, searched the local area for a garbage bin located in a empty industrial park lot with no security. Cousin Buff, with his compassionate heart saw an empty, and lonely garbage bin on an industrial lot and quickly unloaded his twenty bags of garbage into the formally ignored, and overlooked bin. Cousin Buff then floored his pick-up truck on the wet streets and headed towards home. I laughed so hard as Cousin Buff modestly did not want anyone to see his love for the environment or his compassion for that formerly lonely, unappreciated, and empty garbage bin. Cousin Buff you deserve this award!

I had my nasal reconstruction surgery done in July and I am recovering. That combined with my March uvula and tonsil removal means I have slightly more energy and have lost 16 pounds. I am no longer a great candidate for DQ magazine. Bobby has been a T.V. star this year as a fairly lame man on the street interviewed Bobby about his book. At the end of the interview the man on the street wisely stated that "Bobby's world was the only world Bobby knew." How amazing that the man on the street figured Bobby out in less than a day! Bobby thinks I should be non-conformist of the year this year, but I think not. Bobby has still produced some gems. He loves his children tremendously and is a great father, but his desire/obsession to impose his "phony lifestyle" upon them is fascinating. While driving in the car one night, Bobby, Little John and I went by a technical high school, and the well meaning Bobby stated that his kids would go there, because they would not likely go to college or University. Keep in mind his kids are not even 10 years old! So, because Bobby and Daddy, work at the mill, Grandpa worked at the mill, Great gramps smuggled moonshine, Great, Great gramps trapped raccoons, Great, Great, Great gramps smuggled and sold manure, Great, Great, Great, Great gramps fought for the south in the civil war, then Bobby's boys won't go to college or University. How does Bobby know? He is a prophet or the amazing Kreskin? Or does God always let Bobby know what is going to happen by intuition? If so he should start his own pseudo-Christian cult, The Church of Bobby Buff, Latter-Day Fakes. Did Bobby find mystical golden weights buried on his parent's estate? Hmm, come to think it, looking at this list, Bobby you're right, your kids won't go to college or University.;) Anyway, Bobby is sure to bring his kids up in a godly household, and if they rebel it will be of a serious nature of crossing a bridge and moving to another town, or even worse moving to a big city for a job. I can imagine Bobby having to drive out to Vancouver on the weekend to see one of his kids...

2005: Bobby Buff (10x winner)

Wow golly gee, Bobby is a professional labourer, body builder, Elvis fan and newly published author, with this book 'Son, don't just bluff look buff'.

Chapters include:

Like me don't use "roids", because "bitch tits" are a possibility
I love myself am real significant, I think so anyway
Be yourself, and don't be too realistic
Never give up! Be obsessive
Crisco is crucial for personal self-esteem

Bobby congrats!

Bobby-"Thank you, thank very much".

The 2005 candidates (cheesy music playing from The Apprentice)

thekingpin (1x winner)-Although I am a muscular force and work out a lot and eat a little, the results of sleep apnea make me look more like a DQ (Dairy Queen is an American fast food place that is not located world-wide) model than a GQ model. I am looking forward to getting some energy and losing some weight. I have my throat surgery in March and will actually breath well while sleeping for once is my life. This all could avoided if the MDs would have heeded the calls of my Mommy when I was little and removed my constantly swollen tonsils, but no, no, "We know better in the early 1970s, after all look at our Charles Manson inspired hair styles". In 2005 I have actually come close to finishing my PhD, so I can actually get a real job, wowee! I have a part-time job in security and have had to put up with crap from drunk idiots smashing up the can after a wedding, and people who refused to close the fire exit door. I also need more plastic surgery on my weak eye lid, with the idea being for the eye to close better while sleeping and for me to have a shot on being on the cover of DQ. I was cornered at church by an emotional chick that claimed I must get on the C-PAP machine, or else she would be angry with me in heaven forever, if I died young. She said @#$% the money, just get the machine. I don't want it anyway, and I can't sleep with cotton in the ears, forget trying to breath with that thing. I appreciated her intentions, but can't afford C-PAP even if I wanted it, but she would not listen, and what she was saying made slightly more sense than John McLaughlin's 1972 bootleg, pot influenced religious rant at the Whisky A Go Go club.

Chucky (1x winner)-Boop, boop, boop, Chucky's year has been so tough that his blood pressure is now sky high, and that perhaps is why his head is sometimes so red it looks like it could blow up. Chucky has also had to look after his sick Dad and help out his family, for which he deserves much credit. He has as well had to beat off some 40 something chick chasing him all over...go Chucky go! Hey Chuck, Ron Popeil sold that spray that covers up bald spots remember?

Documentary Man (2x winner)-The defending champion gets a break since I have not seen him since 2004. thekingpin-"Hey, thanks for the photo copies from Harvard for my PhD".

Documentary Man-"Shhh, I am in the middle of my daily 5 hour walking and kneeling prayer". Documan and Mrs. Documan are currently in California and may be meeting in-laws...EVERYBODY PRAY! See 2004.

Philosophy Man aka the late (real name)-Your puppy is a real piece of work with his championship dumps on the carpet and eating the New Year's Eve grub...good luck with the training sessions. It may be easier for you to train Chuck and I to find Christian women to date...

2004: Documentary Man (2x winner)

In 2004, he has been married twice, and been in several controversies concerning religion. He has attempted to persuade some of his critics of the truth of his arguments using theatrical prose and poetry, but often has dug himself a bigger hole. Now he must wait for his green card, and can hopefully stay a choir boy until he can go back to the USA. However, this will likely only be possible if he can avoid Bible study discussions, vicars, and family members.

Bobby stated: Hey, Documentary Man, the years (2004) not over yet, but I admit that taking the title from you this year would be quite a feat even for me, Bobby Buffster. thekingpin stated: There is no way I could win the award this year (2004). Documentary Man is marrying twice with godly intentions but controversy, and Bobby did his protest at the mill baba. Bobby stated: Congratulations Documentary Man on getting married. I wish all the best to you and your new wife. I hope that you will place your comments here on this highly commendable website. Beware of the WebMaster, He may spin a web of nonconformity upon us all!

COUSIN BUFF: Well I think the King Pin has out done himself this time. Non conformist of the year hey. Well it seems as though if this king pin finishes his schooling and finally gets his dream job. He might become the conformist of that year. who knows when that will be though. lol kidding buddy it will be soon Im sure. Oh imagine the auther and creator being elected for something he invented.

2003: Manson (1x winner)

"Call and confirm" : For me to be expected to call you to confirm, when you were supposed to come out to visit me, sealed it Manson.

2002: Documentary Man (1x winner)

The Documentary Man visits Canada, as well as making a splash in NYC. "Do you speak English?", NYC female Burger King server to Mr. Oxbridge of the English upper class.

2001:Bobby Buff (9x winner)

I return to Canada to find a Bobby who is more willing to spend time, but now I hear comments such as him having the "best build of all his friends"...nuff said.

2000-Chucky (1x winner)

DECEMBER 24 2000, IS A DAY THAT SHALL LIVE IN INFAMY. The bottle incident, Mr. Freeze...nuff said.

1999-thekingpin68 (1x winner)

I was squabbling with both Trinity Western University and Manchester University over "well meaning" advisors at the same time, so I win.

1998:Bobby Buff (8x winner)

Bobby begins to question some of his phoniness as some of his friends move away or threaten to (like me). His plan to keep all the same friends, in the same town, all his life, now goes to pot, as does his hope that we can set up a major Bible College in his parents back 40.

1997:Bobby Buff (7x winner)

Bobby wonders if having children will cause him to lose weight.

1996:Bobby Buff (6x winner)

Married life and Bobby now feels he has even better reasons to be as he is...in his own little worl...there.

1995:Zombie (2x winner)

Two time winner as marriage hits the rocks faster than the Canucks in the playoffs.

1994:Zombie (1x winner)

Trojan condoms and April 5 1995...nuff said. However, my squabble with Columbia Bible College over me taking Greek via correspondence cannot be overlooked, as I was called a Bulldog by a professor known as the Undertaker.

1993:Bobby Buff (5x winner)

I invited Bobby to go to the UK with Chuck and I after we graduated, but he declined stating that he was "too disciplined" with bodybuilding.

1992:Bobby Buff (4x winner)

Getting Plastic Man over the Pitt River bridge was an amazing feat. He needed to attend Missionsfest to pass a course, and he had to temporarily consider my assertion that the McDonald's truck we passed on the highway was a roving McDonald's restaurant.

1991:Bobby Buff (3x winner)

"I'm not showing off my muscles at Columbia with my muscle shirts, Russ". What a load of cow pie, as he admitted many years later.

1990:Bobby Buff (2x winner)

Getting Bobby out of the gym or away from watching He Haw reruns was quite difficult this year.

1989:Bobby Buff (1x winner)

When I met Bobby for the first time I figured that he was a godly Christian guy, and a "big phony". Well, sometimes first impression are sometimes true.

The non-conformist of the year award 2010

Maple Ridge, BC (December 29 2010)

The non-conformist of the year awards is a previous archived post here:

Original archived post

It was updated and awarded yearly. With new comments.

I decided this year to start a new post and to copy and paste the previous years into the main body and start with new comments.

December 30, 2010
Jeff has stated that this is my most satirical work with this post and I would agree.

Sorry Jeff, two time winner, the last two years, you took so much of the year off blogging I cannot give you the non-conformist of the year award for 2010. Imagine that? Someone actually takes time away from Blogger and Facebook to work for money? Morality today! No award for you! And plus you are not sending me those fancy graphics anymore.

On a more serious note, excellent to see you back at work!

Hmm, what of 10x winner Bobby Buff, also known as Walter Thomas Franklin… Well, he does come over once a week and he does basically keep his word, but his supposed 9:30 arrival is usually 9:45-10 p.m. He often has a hum, haw, hum, haw, hum, haw, back and forth is his brain approach and then he phones and emails and asks if Cardinal Chuckles is here before he decides to honour his word or not and arrive. He is not really worthy of being honoured as non-conformist of the year for 2010 as he is now too stable. Sorry.

And what of Cardinal Chucklins? I suppose it is sort of non-conformity to resist the temptations of the flesh and live like a monk and take the morning train out to Vangoober (NBA Commissioner David Stern, well sounds like it, sort of) to boop with computers five days a week and come home and look after his mom and brothers and go out to Surrey to see his Dad. But, I do not think he did enough in 2010 to merit the award. No offense Pope Chuckles. By the way, since he is working I would hope for a pretty expensive PhD graduation gift from him at my party.;) None of this gift certificate from McDonalds stuff! And Bobby, please put on your Crisco and say your prayers and get up your nerve to get over the new Pitt River Bridge to get to Burnaby that night because we ‘ain’t’ having my graduation party in ‘Maple Ditch’ and no I don’t want you to throw a separate party for you to attend so you can skip the main one like has happened with some of my previous birthday parties.

Gee, I wonder what kind of PhD gift would be appropriate from a friend with Cardinal Chucklin's booping job? You collect comics/graphic novels right?

All added up, they cost $2.87! Come on Chuck!

As for me I was a *total saint* in 2010 as the people that deleted me as a Facebook friend in 2010 will agree with won’t you?;) Of course I made more friends than I lost and I do treat my friends well, that is why I gain friends and followers online. The theology, philosophy of religion, Bible, ministry business is controversial. I am always willing to make right.

2010 Winner: PMH (1 x winner)
The first commenter that I ever had to ****** some of his words because some of his language was too colourful for the rather Christian context of my blogs, but his direct and no nonsense approach was really appreciated by Chucky, Walter and myself and other readers. PMH is also known for rather colourful and informative emails. PMH works in the Hollywood industry, in California and BC and is a warmhearted Christian, conservative family man. PMH blessings to you and family in 2011. Thanks for your friendship and comments in regard to Islam.

Bobby Buff-10x winner
Chucky-2x winner
Documentary Man-2x winner
Jeff Jenkins-2x winner
Zombie-2x winner
Cousin Buff-1x winner
Manson-1x winner
PMH-1x winner
thekingpin68-1x winner

January 11, 2010
2009: Mr. Jeff Jenkins (2x winner)
Jeff is also a very fine graphic artist.

I have still have not met Jeff in person, and when I do will wear a bullet-proof vest and have the bomb squad on speed dial, but for the second straight year he is our winner. For his 2008 write-up and all the other write-ups about these clowns please see below.

Hey, Jeff, please don't open any anonymous packages at your door.

Well, I thought that my blog posts concerning theodicy, the problem of evil, free will, determinism, the NHL, Latter-Day Saints, Jehovah's Witnesses, save the gay whales, and relationships were controversial enough, but THE JEFF blows that away. Here are some recent post titles:

Islamic Slavery

Islam: Tears of Jihad

Muslim Brotherhood 'Conspiracy' to Subvert America

Barack Obama the Beast of Revelation...okay, that is not on Jeff's blog.

The Jeff

Now, I provide his link while selfishly stating that you are better off reading my wonderful, awesome, 'fatastic' blogs thekingpin68 and satire and theology. So if you have ten minutes to spare please give Jeff's two minutes and mine eight.

Jeff mellowed a bit in the fundi department this year which was nice to see. Thankfully, however, he still does not think that humankind evolved from apes, although when I think of couple of my male friends...I do wonder.

The also-rans...

thekingpin68: Yes, I ran a fair amount in 2009 as my dental apnea appliance is moving me in a healthier direction. I of course remain macho theology/philosophy man. I would have blown a gasket had Wales given me a MPhil in January 2009 instead of a PhD with revisions. Now I just need that final word from Wales.

BTW, Wales is a country Americans as opposed to save the gay Whales.

Bobby Buff: I am glad you have that 'radio' installed in your chest for your ticker. But, I do not know why you cannot connect it to my computer speakers and play us some good music. Thanks for all the smart*** blog comments in 2009.

Saint Chucklins: Perhaps you should open up your own Mennonite/Presbyterian monastery/psych ward, with funding from governments of course. See previous entries.

January 4, 2009
2008: Mr. Jeff Jackson (a.k.a. Jenkins) (1 x winner)
Mr. Jeff Jackson is my supportive friend and has the Thoughts and Theology blog. He is the first person that I have not actually met in person to win the non-conformist of the year award. This award that has existed, at least in my mind since 1989, has been dominated by Bobby Buff, who also has various other aliases, but in my mind Jeff deserves it for 2008.

The award existed in paper text format for years and has been on-line since 2006.

From Jeff's one profile picture I must state that it is nice to do the cross-cultural friends thing with someone that at least looks part black.;) I reason I am doing my bit for world peace and for peace and diversity within the 'body of Christ.'

Hey baby you're cool.

What has Mr. Jackson done in 2008?

He has supported my blogs thekingpin68 and satire and theology. Thank you, Jeff.

He has taken a stance against the acceptance of homosexual practice in the church and in society to the point of sometimes 'fundi' zeal. He attempted to take my head off/choke me out/Chuck Norris me/toss me like the Lochness Monster tossed that British presenter/force feed me an entire bottle of 'Happiness' spice from Rick Beef one time in a post where I stated that in Canada as we now have same-sex marriage, I would rather have the compromise in our very secular and non-Christian society of same-sex civil unions. Of course I would more prefer neither same-sex marriage or civil unions, but Mr. Jackson was worked up over the issue in Florida and let his canons rip!

Jeff acted like the last man remaining in a Zombie movie!

Sometimes Mr. Jackson needs to have a cold shower running because he gets so overheated as he begins to burn his keyboard. He actually fried a couple of the deadly spiders that infest his house by breathing on them. He would have snacked on them if he had a bottle of 'Happiness', but he did not.

Mr. Jackson also can go nuts on Facebook. He is a great supporter of my blogs on Facebook, thanks Jeff, but he goes a bit crazy with the applications...wow, he has stated he often has about a hundred messages to deal with. Perhaps Mr. Jackson should get a job as a graphic illustrator for Facebook.

Mr. Jackson is wisely not a supporter of the theory of macroevolution, however, if he saw my hairy friends Chucky and Deeaaaan, he may reconsider.

Chucky stated: Golly gee whiz, that Bobby sure features prominently in the awards, don't he?



2007: Chucky (2x winner)
A.K.A.:

Chuck
Sir Charles Nelson Chuckles

Congratulations, Sir Chucklins!

Chucky is so committed to his family that he has dedicated himself to near monastic like existence. He even forsakes many job opportunities in order to stay closer to Maple Ditch and assist his family. He has also forsaken purely hypothetical opportunities for true love, although they were seemingly few and far between, kind of like Manson’s nose hair trimming escapades, Zombie’s Bible studies, thekingpin’s dates, and Bobby’s trips over seas. It is tough finding a compatible Christian woman in ‘Vangoober’ (as the NBA commissioner kind of sounded like he pronounced it).

Chucky is such as nice guy, that in 2007 he visited on-line an atheist blog to assist a Christian blogger who was facing abuse, and Sir Charles was called an a hole is the process. Chuckles will walk ‘into it’ for a fellow human being, and that is the good Mennonite way! They should be called Men no knights. Chucky would give you the shirt off his back, and Bobby Buff would definitely give you the shirt off his back. Some guys are so hairy or have so much stomach muscle that they should never give someone the shirt off their back.

Also-rans:

Bobby Buff had a rough 2007, but still managed to shine…thanks to Crisco. He helped lead a peasant’s revolt against a tyrannous industry and now works for higher wages and with more reasonable hours, and yet an evil still lurks.

Cousin Buff our 2006 champion, had a lavish wedding attended by the College of Cardinals and Pope Benedict XVI. I asked the Pope that since the NFL’s Saint Louis Cardinals moved to Arizona, if the College of Cardinals would ever consider moving to the United States for a better lease, and more revenue from outside sales, and he gave me a flat ‘no comment’. Cousin Buff’s wedding featured dancers from 190 nations, although the Palestinian dancers would not go on the same stage as the Israeli ones. Cousin and Bobby Buff did an impromptu dance with their shirts off all greased up to raise money to pay for the wedding and reception. Cousin Buff and his new bride went to her Asian homeland to rent a huge truck and deliver garbage into neighbourhood bins. It was called ‘Project Buff Up’.

Documentary Man continues teaching at a preppy school in central Florida and avoided having his tires slashed in 2007.

Zombie is still paying his debts, although he does not seem to own a heck of a lot despite all the payments he makes. Zombie’s finances are perhaps like one big hole in the ground.

Philosophy Man and the Bulgarian Princess had a beautiful baby girl and not the triplets as speculated. The two month old has already shown a great interest in samba dancing and has the run of the house. She is being taught, sub-consciously as we speak, how to nag Daddy…;) Thanks for the New Year’s party!

Thekingpin68, yours truly, has had his sleep apnea relapse. With all the taxes we pay in this country the government will not pay to have my jaw moved forward. I need ideas for collecting the $15,000 plus needed for the jaw surgery. I need to finish my PhD and find work…duh.

February 10, 2007

Update:

Philosophy Man and his dear wife Bananjela today sent out one of those this is how our year has been emails to friends. It was well done and highlighted some nice new pictures on their website. I admit myself to have sent out those kinds of mass emails with bcc when I was in England, as in this is how crappy my year has been, but thankfully things are somewhat better now. Thankfully, or perhaps not, depending on your perspective the email gave me an idea for a satirical, somewhat fictional account of the year of the non-conformists.

Here it is:

Greetings this is thekingpin. I am sorry for writing this impersonal mass, bcc email but I have spent much of the last two evenings and mornings staying up sending out problem of evil questionnaires to those persons I know worldwide. I was therefore tired and was faced with the option of writing to each and every one of my dear friends personally, or trying to win an Actual Soccer tournament on my Mac clone. Clearly you can see which choice I made. Please don’t feel bad as losing occasionally does not make you a loser.

2006 was fatastic for me as I lost almost 20 pounds after my two sleep apnea surgeries. I also lovingly welcomed several large dark clumps of vitreous floaters into the back of my eyes, especially the right. It is so cool trying to read and having those pretty artistic black wispy lines floating back and forth. I really appreciate my local eye doctors telling me how acceptable they were and warning of me of the evils of heading down to the Excited States to have them removed, even though these local doctors were not technically familiar with what the doctor in the Exited States did, and were not willing to find out. Thanks to the wonderful surgeon here my nose no longer closes up at night, and without my tonsils and uvula I no longer wake up at night gasping for air and scaring the tar out of anyone who happens to hear me.

Academically it appears that things are going well. I am cool with the department as long as I don’t talk about everlasting hell, evolution, abortion, ufos, homosexuality, Michael Jackson, or why England has not won the FIFA World Cup since 1966.

Chucky’s star has continued to rise in the church choir circles. Chucky Saint Divine: Choir Boy for the 21st century. As well, he is becoming known on the net as Sir Charles Nelson Chuckles the debonair comic book collector. Clearly this man is on his way up. He has purchased a new pair of glasses, which give him that baby eyes look, as opposed to the other pair of Lennon’s, which at times give him the snotty French debonair comic book collector look. With French accent, “Oui, Oui, you English pig dog, how dare you want to trade that modern age comique for my bronze age masterpiece!”

Documentary Man’s star also rose in 2006 as he is becoming known as the most overeducated and intellectual prep school teacher in America. Since it is too much of a pain in the ass to get a PhD and teach graduate students, Documan wisely simply teaches the youngsters at a PhD level. Documan had a difficult time in the beginning convincing the administration that a 50% grade in his class was an A, but they eventually went along with it.

Bobby Buff is quickly become known for his book and CD; congratulations my friend. Bobby’s deal with Crisco has paid dividends as each book and CD has a Crisco coupon within. Crisco donates 1 cent from all sales to the Columbia Bible College: East Maple Ridge project. Bobby hopes to one day build a satellite Columbia site in East Ridge and coax all the old retired professors from the 1990’s out of retirement, or out of the grave if need be by prayer, in order to teach there.

Cousin Buff has continued with his environmental awareness and rumour has it has been visiting several lonely garbage bins throughout the Lower Mainland.

Philosophy Man and Bananjela have continued with their environmental work as well. There is hope that eventually their family shall increase in size and they can buy the lot across the street and build a centre for environmental awareness and samba.

2006: Cousin Buff (1x winner)
He dethrones his cousin, Bobby Buff, and the throne is a sensitive subject in our group!

Bobby Buff wanted:

The body of Arnold...
The voice of Elvis...
The spirituality of Jesus...

He received:

The body of a 'Big Jim'...
The voice of Buddy Holly...
The spirituality of Mister Rogers...

Sir Chuckles of Haney, thinks I was lenient in not giving the 2006 award to Bobby Bluffeuffofus because I somewhat overlooked the seriousness of Bluff stating one night that his children, presently under the age of 10 years old, would not in the future attend college or University.

The Garbage Man cometh!! We have a new, first time winner of the non-conformist of the year award. Cousin Buff, congratulations!! Why is Cousin Buff our 2006 winner, especially since I saw him less than five times this year? At the Buff family fire a few months ago, Cousin Buff was ranting and raving on cousin Bobby Buff's new book, 'Son, don't just bluff look buff'. Cousin Buff went on and on, "wow, wow, wow, wow". Meanwhile Chucky and I looked at each other thinking, the book is good, but not that good. One would think that Cousin Buff was considering Bobby's book for Biblical canon status, or perhaps if not canon, Bobby's book should considered for Church Father status, as the volume would be credited to the Greek Father, "Saint Bobbus Bluffeuffofus". One would think that Bobby would soon be on Oprah flogging the book. Cousin Buff and his girlfriend apparently set up a table at his church presenting Bobby's book. Yes, of all the books in the world, they push the book of a 160 pound, greased up, well meaning weight trainer who wants his sons to grow up right, and slight. Were the writings of Augustine, Luther, or Calvin at the table? No! Instead the table featured the work of theological wizard Bobby Buff. Months later, I heard from Bobby that Cousin Buff listened to the pre-production version of Bobby's new CD, "Plastic Retractions" and once again the response was "wow, wow, wow, wow". The CD is good, but by no means should be confused with a classic. Perhaps it would be "plassic"?

The main reason Cousin Buff is the winner for 2006, is that he has shown an uncommon care and concern for the environment. Cousin Buff failed to make it to the dump to drop off garbage in the back of his pick-up truck at the end of a work day. He knew that the dump would be closed for the weekend and was so concerned with environmental problems such as garbage odour, sabotage from rats and dogs, the ozone layer, and global warming, that something had to be done with the trash that night! After viewing a hockey game with yours truly, Cousin Buff, driving us home in his truck, searched the local area for a garbage bin located in a empty industrial park lot with no security. Cousin Buff, with his compassionate heart saw an empty, and lonely garbage bin on an industrial lot and quickly unloaded his twenty bags of garbage into the formally ignored, and overlooked bin. Cousin Buff then floored his pick-up truck on the wet streets and headed towards home. I laughed so hard as Cousin Buff modestly did not want anyone to see his love for the environment or his compassion for that formerly lonely, unappreciated, and empty garbage bin. Cousin Buff you deserve this award!

I had my nasal reconstruction surgery done in July and I am recovering. That combined with my March uvula and tonsil removal means I have slightly more energy and have lost 16 pounds. I am no longer a great candidate for DQ magazine. Bobby has been a T.V. star this year as a fairly lame man on the street interviewed Bobby about his book. At the end of the interview the man on the street wisely stated that "Bobby's world was the only world Bobby knew." How amazing that the man on the street figured Bobby out in less than a day! Bobby thinks I should be non-conformist of the year this year, but I think not. Bobby has still produced some gems. He loves his children tremendously and is a great father, but his desire/obsession to impose his "phony lifestyle" upon them is fascinating. While driving in the car one night, Bobby, Little John and I went by a technical high school, and the well meaning Bobby stated that his kids would go there, because they would not likely go to college or University. Keep in mind his kids are not even 10 years old! So, because Bobby and Daddy, work at the mill, Grandpa worked at the mill, Great gramps smuggled moonshine, Great, Great gramps trapped raccoons, Great, Great, Great gramps smuggled and sold manure, Great, Great, Great, Great gramps fought for the south in the civil war, then Bobby's boys won't go to college or University. How does Bobby know? He is a prophet or the amazing Kreskin? Or does God always let Bobby know what is going to happen by intuition? If so he should start his own pseudo-Christian cult, The Church of Bobby Buff, Latter-Day Fakes. Did Bobby find mystical golden weights buried on his parent's estate? Hmm, come to think it, looking at this list, Bobby you're right, your kids won't go to college or University.;) Anyway, Bobby is sure to bring his kids up in a godly household, and if they rebel it will be of a serious nature of crossing a bridge and moving to another town, or even worse moving to a big city for a job. I can imagine Bobby having to drive out to Vancouver on the weekend to see one of his kids...

2005: Bobby Buff (10x winner)
Wow golly gee, Bobby is a professional labourer, body builder, Elvis fan and newly published author, with this book 'Son, don't just bluff look buff'.

Chapters include:

Like me don't use "roids", because "bitch tits" are a possibility
I love myself am real significant, I think so anyway
Be yourself, and don't be too realistic
Never give up! Be obsessive
Crisco is crucial for personal self-esteem

Bobby congrats!

Bobby-"Thank you, thank very much".

The 2005 candidates (cheesy music playing from The Apprentice)

thekingpin (1x winner)-Although I am a muscular force and work out a lot and eat a little, the results of sleep apnea make me look more like a DQ (Dairy Queen is an American fast food place that is not located world-wide) model than a GQ model. I am looking forward to getting some energy and losing some weight. I have my throat surgery in March and will actually breath well while sleeping for once is my life. This all could avoided if the MDs would have heeded the calls of my Mommy when I was little and removed my constantly swollen tonsils, but no, no, "We know better in the early 1970s, after all look at our Charles Manson inspired hair styles". In 2005 I have actually come close to finishing my PhD, so I can actually get a real job, wowee! I have a part-time job in security and have had to put up with crap from drunk idiots smashing up the can after a wedding, and people who refused to close the fire exit door. I also need more plastic surgery on my weak eye lid, with the idea being for the eye to close better while sleeping and for me to have a shot on being on the cover of DQ. I was cornered at church by an emotional chick that claimed I must get on the C-PAP machine, or else she would be angry with me in heaven forever, if I died young. She said @#$% the money, just get the machine. I don't want it anyway, and I can't sleep with cotton in the ears, forget trying to breath with that thing. I appreciated her intentions, but can't afford C-PAP even if I wanted it, but she would not listen, and what she was saying made slightly more sense than John McLaughlin's 1972 bootleg, pot influenced religious rant at the Whisky A Go Go club.

Chucky (1x winner)-Boop, boop, boop, Chucky's year has been so tough that his blood pressure is now sky high, and that perhaps is why his head is sometimes so red it looks like it could blow up. Chucky has also had to look after his sick Dad and help out his family, for which he deserves much credit. He has as well had to beat off some 40 something chick chasing him all over...go Chucky go! Hey Chuck, Ron Popeil sold that spray that covers up bald spots remember?

Documentary Man (2x winner)-The defending champion gets a break since I have not seen him since 2004. thekingpin-"Hey, thanks for the photo copies from Harvard for my PhD".

Documentary Man-"Shhh, I am in the middle of my daily 5 hour walking and kneeling prayer". Documan and Mrs. Documan are currently in California and may be meeting in-laws...EVERYBODY PRAY! See 2004.

Philosophy Man aka the late (real name)-Your puppy is a real piece of work with his championship dumps on the carpet and eating the New Year's Eve grub...good luck with the training sessions. It may be easier for you to train Chuck and I to find Christian women to date...

2004: Documentary Man (2x winner)
In 2004, he has been married twice, and been in several controversies concerning religion. He has attempted to persuade some of his critics of the truth of his arguments using theatrical prose and poetry, but often has dug himself a bigger hole. Now he must wait for his green card, and can hopefully stay a choir boy until he can go back to the USA. However, this will likely only be possible if he can avoid Bible study discussions, vicars, and family members.

Bobby stated: Hey, Documentary Man, the years (2004) not over yet, but I admit that taking the title from you this year would be quite a feat even for me, Bobby Buffster. thekingpin stated: There is no way I could win the award this year (2004). Documentary Man is marrying twice with godly intentions but controversy, and Bobby did his protest at the mill baba. Bobby stated: Congratulations Documentary Man on getting married. I wish all the best to you and your new wife. I hope that you will place your comments here on this highly commendable website. Beware of the WebMaster, He may spin a web of nonconformity upon us all!

COUSIN BUFF: Well I think the King Pin has out done himself this time. Non conformist of the year hey. Well it seems as though if this king pin finishes his schooling and finally gets his dream job. He might become the conformist of that year. who knows when that will be though. lol kidding buddy it will be soon Im sure. Oh imagine the auther and creator being elected for something he invented.

2003: Manson (1x winner)
"Call and confirm" : For me to be expected to call you to confirm, when you were supposed to come out to visit me, sealed it Manson.

2002: Documentary Man (1x winner)
The Documentary Man visits Canada, as well as making a splash in NYC. "Do you speak English?", NYC female Burger King server to Mr. Oxbridge of the English upper class.

2001:Bobby Buff (9x winner)
I return to Canada to find a Bobby who is more willing to spend time, but now I hear comments such as him having the "best build of all his friends"...nuff said.

2000-Chucky (1x winner)
DECEMBER 24 2000, IS A DAY THAT SHALL LIVE IN INFAMY. The bottle incident, Mr. Freeze...nuff said.

1999-thekingpin68 (1x winner)
I was squabbling with both Trinity Western University and Manchester University over "well meaning" advisors at the same time, so I win.

1998:Bobby Buff (8x winner)
Bobby begins to question some of his phoniness as some of his friends move away or threaten to (like me). His plan to keep all the same friends, in the same town, all his life, now goes to pot, as does his hope that we can set up a major Bible College in his parents back 40.

1997:Bobby Buff (7x winner)
Bobby wonders if having children will cause him to lose weight.

1996:Bobby Buff (6x winner)
Married life and Bobby now feels he has even better reasons to be as he is...in his own little worl...there.

1995:Zombie (2x winner)
Two time winner as marriage hits the rocks faster than the Canucks in the playoffs.

1994:Zombie (1x winner)
Trojan condoms and April 5 1995...nuff said. However, my squabble with Columbia Bible College over me taking Greek via correspondence cannot be overlooked, as I was called a Bulldog by a professor known as the Undertaker.

1993:Bobby Buff (5x winner)
I invited Bobby to go to the UK with Chuck and I after we graduated, but he declined stating that he was "too disciplined" with bodybuilding.

1992:Bobby Buff (4x winner)
Getting Plastic Man over the Pitt River bridge was an amazing feat. He needed to attend Missionsfest to pass a course, and he had to temporarily consider my assertion that the McDonald's truck we passed on the highway was a roving McDonald's restaurant.

1991:Bobby Buff (3x winner)
"I'm not showing off my muscles at Columbia with my muscle shirts, Russ". What a load of cow pie, as he admitted many years later.

1990:Bobby Buff (2x winner)
Getting Bobby out of the gym or away from watching He Haw reruns was quite difficult this year.

1989:Bobby Buff (1x winner)
When I met Bobby for the first time I figured that he was a godly Christian guy, and a "big phony". Well, sometimes first impression are sometimes true.


Agassiz, BC (trekearth.com)

Emerald Lake, BC (trekearth.com)

Emerald Lake, BC (trekearth.com)

Emerald Lake, BC (trekearth.com)


BC farm (Ron Niebrugge)