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| Texas-trekearth |
Christian Post June 22 2015
BY VINCENT FUNARO
Cited
'Cornerstone Church Denies Claim That Pastor John Hagee Said Women Who Use God's Name While Having Sex Should Be 'Thrown in Jail'
End citation
This is good to read, as when I originally saw a related article, I thought that it was absolutely ridiculous.
My thinking was that with all the issues in this fallen and problematic present realm and age, for a Pastor to focus on that issue would be foolish, but it appears to be a work of satire, and not written with kind intentions.
Cited
A Cornerstone Church official denied Monday a report that claims their senior pastor John Hagee said women who shout God's name during sex should be "thrown in jail" in an interview discussing the 10 Commandments.
The San Antonio, Texas-based church told The Christian Post in a telephone interview that the claim is false and that the church's lawyers are looking into the situation. "The story is a complete fabrication. It's written by a website that makes up these kind of stories in an effort to be humorous. All media outlets that have picked up this story have been contacted by John Hagee Ministries and will issue a retraction or face legal action," said an official statement from Cornerstone Church's legal department shared with CP.
Hagee's remarks about women were originally reported in an interview by Newslo.com.
RETIRED HUSBAND
ReplyDeleteAfter retiring, George's wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to TESCO. (a British Supermarket Chain)
Unfortunately, like most men, George found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women - she loves to browse..
Yesterday his wife received the following letter from the local TESCO:
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
(1.) January 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
(2.) February 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
(3.) February 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
(4.) February 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'..
This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
(5.) March 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layby
(6.) March 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
(7.) March 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
(8.) March 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
(9.) April 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
(10.) April 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
(11.) April 23: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
(12.) May 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' using different sizes of funnels.
(13...) May 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
(14.) May 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
(15.) June 5: Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
(16.) June 14: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
A small Newfie man was sitting at a bar when this huge, burly American guy walked in.
ReplyDeleteAs he passed the Newfie, he hit him on the neck knocking him to the floor.
The big, burly American said, "That's a karate chop from Korea."
The Newfie got back on his barstool and resumed drinking his beer.
The burly American then got up to go to the bathroom and, as he walked by the Newfie,
he hit him on the other side of the neck and knocked him to the floor.
That's a judo chop from Japan", he said.
The Newfie decided he'd had enough and left.
An hour later he came back and saw the burly American sitting at the bar.
He walked up behind him and smackes him on the head, knocking him out.
The Newfie said to the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a crowbar from Canadian Tire."
Florida woman stops alligator attack with a small Beretta pistol.
ReplyDeleteThis is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself? A Beretta Jetfire testimonial.
Here is her story in her own words:
"While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside of The Villages with my soon to be ex-husband discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took... The 'gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. It's one of the best pistols in my collection! Plus the amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was really incredible!!!
Speed Trap
ReplyDeleteMy sister Candice's husband drove right into a radar trap. And because Candice was following him in her car, the police officer nabbed her too.
After the officer had written up one ticket, he approached Candice. Her defense was that she was merely following her husband. When that appeal failed, she tried another tack:
"Do you give family discounts?"
…..Doc’s Daily Chuckle (docsdailychuckle@associate.com) by way of “Christian Voices” (ChristianVoices@att.net)
Dear,Help me claim (20.9million US Dollars),deposited in a bank by my Late client, a citizen of your country. Contact me for more details on this email address.( nelsmak1961@gmail.com ) Nelson.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHUMOR
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms.
…..Copyright 2014 Mike Atkinson (www.mikeysFunnies.com) by way of “Christian Voices” (ChristianVoices@att.net)
Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent.
ReplyDeletePeanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450ºF.
ReplyDeleteThe roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
ReplyDeleteNine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.
ReplyDeleteThe banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man.
ReplyDeleteAirports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.
ReplyDeleteThe University of Alaska spans four time zones.
ReplyDeleteThe tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
ReplyDeleteIn ancient Greece , tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
ReplyDeleteWarner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.
ReplyDeleteIntelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
ReplyDeleteA comet's tail always points away from the sun.
ReplyDeleteThe Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.
ReplyDeleteCaffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines..
ReplyDeleteThe military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armour raised their visors to reveal their identity..
ReplyDelete